RSS

Category Archives: Human Behavior

Day 22 – I want to Prove Myself to You

Day 22 – I want to Prove Myself to You

As a child, I often had the experience of feeling overwhelmd when someone didn’t believe me, or thought something about me that wasn’t true. And it made me upset and I wanted to prove to that person that i was different, or that I didn’t do it. I sometimes got really sad and frustrated because of it. Some sort of helpless feeling because there was nothing I could do to convince that other person. What would have been the cure? Let it go. Realize that you can only sometimes explain something to another, but when they do not want to hear, you can’t make them, even when you want to. So best to not react and put yourself into stress.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to prove myself to another person and get upset when he/she does not hear what I say and keeps being stuck in the same judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get emotional / sad / frustrated when someone accuses me of something I didn’t do, or am, and that I have no way of showing them the opposit because they already made up their mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the emotions overwhelme me, without directing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not having realized that I do not need to follow my emotions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to convince another and base my self-experience on what the opinion of that other is

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value anothers judgement about me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that that person who judges me wrong may infect others who will believe the lies he/she spreads about me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire everyone to like me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of being disliked

Sometimes another persons opinion or judgment about you, can be directly related to your quality of life. For example when you have an abusive parent who uses his/her child as an outlet of his/her anger. The child is often helpless and in a pretty fucked up situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assert my anger on my child
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my child for things he/she didn’t do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my child because of the emotions I feel within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my child because I am angry and need to vent it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the anger inside me control me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for my anger, and assert it onto another living being, a child even, that is dependant on me, not realizing how I am fucking up the childs life through my own ignorance and abuse

When and as I notice myself reacting to someone who does not believe me, I stop and breath and realize that all I can do in the situation is direct myself and stop the emotions within me

When and as I notice myself getting angry, I stop and breath and let do not in any way assert this onto another living being. I look at where the anger comes from and take responsibility to stop it

When and as I notice myself getting frustrated or sad when someone accuses me falsfly, I stop and breath. I explain the situation as best as I can, but when the other does not want to hear, I let it go and make sure that I do not base my emotions on the opinion of this other person. I stop desiring to convince them and direct myself.

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Day 21 – I Hate Crowds!

Day 21 – I Hate Crowds!

For a long period of my life I had strong reactions towards being in large groups of people, crowds.. the mall, a market place. It felt quite overwhelming. Sometimes we would go to the mall and I would get hot flashes, become extremely tired and feel nervous inside my chest.
What was actually fueling this, was not the crowd in itself, but my thoughts within this situation. Thinking about how people would look at me, maybe notice me, keep an eye on me, judge me, thinking how annoying it is. At the same time, my eyes seem to go into overdrive because of the stimuli around me. There is so much happening that at times I got a bit dizzy from it. Because of the thoughts, I would intensify my own symptoms and feel anxious and stressed, and annoyed. I would often say that it is because I am highly sensitive.

So when dealing with this pattern, and stopping these thoughts, I have become calm within such situations. I do not allow the thoughts to come up and I simply breath and be in the moment without pre-occupying my mind about the people around me. The hot flashes disappeared, so did the dizziness. I stop looking at to much in too high intensity and focus simply on remaining here, being here. It is not really that I focus on it anymore, it is more like something that results automatically when you stop to allow these thoughts to control you. You stop racing in your mind, and so do your eyes and the rest. I do get tired still sometimes in busy places, but all the other symptoms have gone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to intensify feelings of stress and anxiety through participating in thoughts that come up when I am around other people or crowds

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I hate crowds because of the feelings I experience when I am among crowds, not realizing that it was fueled through my own participation in my mind, and that I was simply hating it because of the strong reactions I had created towards crowds through allowing my mind to be in control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about how other people may judge me, and then feel anxious because of this, not realizing that their judgment about me does not matter

I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to simply stop these thoughts and not follow them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept myself as less than who I am, because I have allowed my mind/thoughts to control me and make me feel sick amongst crowds, not realizing I have the power to direct myself and stop this uncomfortable situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for my own thoughts, and find a reason and excuse to why I experience this, such as “high sensitivity”, without realizing that I can actually stop this situation within myself, and not allow myself to be concerned with others judgments or constantly focus on the people around me

When and as I notice my thoughts drift off when I am within a crowd, thinking about how they judge me, or see me etc… I stop and breath and do not allow these thoughts to control me. I let them go and breath, be in the moment and stop fueling these thoughts that cause me to have stronger physical reactions. I do not choose my programmed mind over the health of my physical body.

When and as I notice I get anxious within a crowd, I stop and I breath and focus on move in the moment. I bring myself back here.

When and as I notice I still get tired, I simply continue to move myself and not follow the thoughts, without judging myself for being tired. I direct myself, regardless of being tired or not.

I realize that sometimes a physical experience being part of a crowd, can be “natural” as in that the temperature may rise, and that oxygen levels may decrease. In that situation I simply do what I can to improve it in the moment.

 

 
 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Day 17 – Fear of Being Ugly

Day 17 – Fear of Being Ugly

I have been raised to put value on my physical appearance, to derive my self worth from the way I look. From a young age I have seen others do this towards themselves, others and myself. I have also seen it in various child movies (disney especially) and television and media advertisements.
As I grew older, I kept defining myself according to how others saw me, more specifically: if others thought I was pretty or not. When I thought they didn’t, I felt bad. I know… quite a sad way to live really. But how many of us are doing this? How many of us bow down to the beauty industry, to the self judgement and the gossip? How many of us judge our bodies as ugly and wrong? Does this serve us in any way? No. What it does serve is the profit driven system that feeds of it. Not best for all, not even a little bit.

The Self forgiveness shared here will not be solely attached to my own experiences, but also towards other things that people can experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my self worth and confidence on how other people perceive me, how they judge me, and wether they think I am pretty or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that anothers judgements about my physical appearance means anything, that it is significant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  believe that anothers judgements are determinants of who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let others judgements become my own judgmenets

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let others judgments about my physical appearance shift my emotions according to what they think about how I look

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that others judgements about physical appearance are programmed, shallow and not best for all

I forgive myself for not accepting  myself  and allowing myself simple to be who I am in  the moment, when I I look in the mirror and see wrinkles on my forehead and judge it as ‘bad/ugly/negative, ’when I think I am too short,  when I  think I don’t look thin ‘enough’, when I think I need to dye my hair to ‘cover the grey’, when I look at my breasts and think they are too small, when I think my nose is too big, when I think ‘I look older’, when I think my legs are ‘ugly’ because they have cellulite, when I think my navel is ‘ugly’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not love myself as who I am in each moment of breath when I go into an energetic reaction of fear about aging, and subsequent thoughts of  death, when I think I need breast implants and subsequent thoughts of fear that  Alex will leave me,  when I think I need to fix my navel, nose, teeth and  when I compare myself to another woman thinking I am ‘better’ or ‘less than’ her.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to separate myself from other women through a constant stream of thoughts, I am often unaware of, and constant comparison,  “she’s pretty, she’s ugly, that is not a good look for her, she shouldn’t wear that, she’s trying too hard to impress, she thinks she’s so hot/better than me, she’s too fat/heavy, I’m prettier than her, I’m more desirable, I’m less attractive than her, Alex(any man I’m going out with) would like her more because she’s prettier than me”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from myself by criticizing a part of my physical human body in separation of the whole, my whole self and in my mind comparing this body part to that of a picture of a model or other woman I feel is ‘better’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as plain/ ugly without makeup and pretty with make up, for  judging  myself as sexy with high heels and fashionable clothes, for judging myself as looking old with no make up or with reading glasses, for judging  myself as pretty with a tan, for judging  myself as ugly/plain with no tan, for  judging myself as ugly with regular glasses (I wear contact lenses), for  judging  myself everytime (almost ) I look in a mirror as looking ‘good’ or ‘bad’ that day, having  ‘bad’ hair ‘good’ hair ‘, and for judging my smile as ugly if it is not white ‘enough’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself  according to a picture every time I look in the mirror, see my reflection in a window, get dressed, I see another woman who I judge as better/worse ‘looking’ than me, I am in the presence of others and I want to impress them and the picture is pretty or ugly, sexy or plain, fat or skinny, good enough=desirable or not good enough = undesirable, embarrassing or proud.

I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that I am ‘inferior’ to a person I deem ‘beautiful’ because they have certain physical traits
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting that I am inferior to ‘beautiful people’
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief/presupposition that beauty is real.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief/presupposition that there is such a thing that is ‘beautiful’ and something that is ‘less or not beautiful’
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to grade other people according to their ‘beauty’
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the separation between ‘beautiful’ and ‘ugly’ people.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the reaction of ‘feeling inferior’ when I identify a ‘beautiful person’
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting my attention to be placed on the idea of beauty more than the physical act of breathing
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the belief that beauty exists
I forgive myself that I allowed myself to judge people according to my concept of beauty
I forgive myself that I allowed myself to judge myself according to my concept of beauty
I forgive myself that I allowed myself to act according to my concept of beauty
I forgive myself that I allowed myself to support my concept of beauty by applying it to people, objects, and surroundings
I forgive myself that I allowed myself to force myself to grade objects according to their beauty. All is one and equal
I forgive myself that I haven’t realized that beauty does not exist
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to consider that all things are one and equal in beauty, such that the ‘beauty system’ IS superfluous/redundant
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the ‘thought comparison’ between me and another person’s ‘beauty’
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare my physical form to another according to my definition of beauty
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting the identification of the belief that I am ‘superior’ or ‘inferior’ depending on which person I compare myself to
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to compare me to someone else’s physical form. We are one and equal.
I forgive myself for not yet applying the principles of oneness and equality in the context of beauty
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting a definition of beauty
I forgive myself for reacting to the beauty construct within and as me
I forgive myself that I haven’t realized that by accepting a definition of beauty, I literally imprison myself to my ideas; that through my actions, I accept and allow my own enslavement to the beauty construct
I forgive myself for neglecting to breathe while in the denial of the beauty construct, which only empowers it further.
I forgive myself for reacting to the beauty construct by denying it
I forgive myself that I haven’t realized that to remove the beauty construct, I must and will cease participating within it, which includes asserting or denying its existence.
I forgive myself that I haven’t realized that I need to accept and consequently not react to the beauty construct to delete it.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to exist within and as the beauty polarity system of ugly and good looking

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to become a slave to the beauty system
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted the beauty system to control and direct me
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to support and fuel the beauty system thru the use of skin care products

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define myslef as disgusting according to the norms/standards of beauty

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to isolate myself, stay at home, not showing myself amongst others when I feel disgusting and unattractive
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to experience shame because of the way I look
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define myself as ugly because of my white/pale skin
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define sunburnt and brown skin as beautiful
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to want to have sunburnt skin
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to become careless when in sharp sunlight and often burn my skin because I desire to be brown
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define spotless, smooth, matt skin as beautiful and desirable
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to care what others may think about or how they value my appearance
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define my body as ugly, disgusting and unattractive
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define myself as ugly because I am not muscular compared to other men
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define myself as ugly because I’m skinny
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that a male body should be muscular and well built
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to desire a well built and muscular body
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to become disgusted at the sight of my naked body
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear nakedness of myself
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define my body as shapeless
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define my body as curvy
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define my body as sexy, and derive my self worth from this
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to feel better about myself when I look in the mirror and see that I look hot
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to experience shame for my body
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear to display my naked body
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to belive that nakedness is something wrong or dirty
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear showing myself without a shirt on in public
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to fear that others will judge my body as ugly
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that others are laughing behind my back when they see my body
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to compare my body with others
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to wish that I had another body and in that I forgive myself that I have
acceptet and allowed myself to believe that my life would have been much better if I would have a body which I define as beautiful
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to hide as much of my body as possible with cloths because of my shame of my body
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to limit my body movement because of my shame of my appearance and my body
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to copy the beauty system of my father
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to copy my fathers addiction to compare and value and judge others because ot their looks
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to copy my fathers fear of nakedness
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to copy the beauty system of my mother
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to copy my mothers disgust with unclean skin

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to an idea connected to a picture I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide the parts of my body which I judge negativly I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide because of the judgements of others I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care about the judgement of others because I fear ridicule and judgement I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own feelings within the experience of ridicule and judgement of others

When and as I notice the reactions within me towards what another said about my physical appearance, I stop and breath and do not follow thoughts that pop up in my mind. I realize that my physical appearance does not define me. My body is supporting me to exist on planet earth, and I am grateful for it, and will do what I can to keep it healthy, and not place all kidns of judgements on it according to looks.

When and as I notice the urge to buy products to make me thin, make me thight, beautify me, make my skin less wrinkly etc… I stop and breath and do not allow myself to follow this urge.

I realize that age is a number and not who I am as life and that I am in fact one and equal to life. I realize that my physical human body is one and equal to life. I realize that the emotions of fear, anger, sadness, shame and denial are not who I am and I do not have to be directed by them. I realize that fear and the other emotions it brings up enslave me to the mind consciousness systems design of keeping me stuck and occupying my time and are in fact a waste of my time to engage in. I realize that what I am and who I am is constant and changeless but it will take time to understand the aging system and ‘turn back the clock’. I realize I can be patient with my process of discovery with Desteni. I realize these emotions keep me trapped in my mind and there is no ‘answer’ except to make the decision with each here moment, each breath to not participate in them.

I no longer accept and allow myself to be stuck in my mind by engaging in the emotions of fear, anger, sadness, shame and denial with regards to aging . I no longer accept and allow myself to participate in/waste any more time on the thought  that as I age, I become less ‘valuable’. I accept and allow myself to be here as life , one and equal to all that exist, in each breath and that  ‘value’ has no relevance. I accept and allow myself to let go of past thoughts/ideas/beliefs of beauty and that life has an expiry date. I accept and allow myself to no longer look at my refection and see someone who is aging and react with thoughts and emotions that control me and could cause me harm. I accept to no longer see myself as a picture but to accept myself as life. I accept and allow myself to no longer judge myself or others as ‘beautiful ‘ or ‘ugly’, as ‘old’ or ‘young’.

Whenever I go into an energetic reaction of fear brought on by the thought ‘I am afraid that, as I age, I become less valuable’    I stop, I breath.  I no longer accept and allow myself to go into my mind and trust /engage in emotions of fear, anger, shame, sadness, and denial to trap and enslave me. Instead I realize I direct myself here, in the physical, with each breath and I remind myself I am one and equal to all that exist in timelessness and not just a picture presentation.

Some parts inspired from: http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=285&p=956&hilit=beauty#p956

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on May 1, 2012 in Human Behavior

 

Tags:

Day 13 – Being Drunk

Day 13 – Being Drunk

I haven’t drank any alcohol in about 9 years now, because I am against the effects it has on the human body and mind. Alcohol has many fucked up consequences in this world, more than it has good consequences. Growing up, I had my fair share of experiences with drunken adults. So I became disgusted by this behavior. The things I saw, no child should have to see. Not only was it the things I saw, but sometimes it was very dangerous, for example when I had to be in the car with a drunken person who swung across the road left to right.

I have been drunk twice in my life, why? To try and “have fun”. I noticed however, that it just made me feel sick, and giggly. I started to spin around in my head and it was harder to speak and walk. I really didn’t like that. I noticed however, that I still tended to be shy, which I didn’t expect I would be because alcohol is supposed to make you “loose”.

So this will be the self forgiveness and correction for drunk people in general, not just my own experience as you will read. You will notice that I mention “drugs” instead of “alcohol” sometimes, because alcohol is a drug and not such a harmless drug…

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take drugs because I think I require this to have fun
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link “having fun” to using drugs that alters chemicals in my brains which gives me an experience of being more confident and/or crazy, daring etc… thinking that this is a good thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself by consuming alcohol, using the excuses that alcohol will relax me, loosen my tongue, and I only have one drink – full aware that one drink leads to two, two drinks begin intoxication and separation from actual living – I realize that alcohol subdues my common sense and is a form of entertainment and distraction designed to keep humans preoccupied while the fucked-up-ness of the state of the world continues. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself by participating in the consummation of alcohol.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use alcohol in excess in the home knowing my personality changed when I drank and I treated my children cruelly and humiliated them in front of my friends, relatives and each other.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use alcohol in the home presenting to my children it is ‘normal’ ‘acceptable’ to drink alcohol even though I knew alcoholism ran rampant within our family ‘tree’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not talk to my children about the dangers of alcohol consumption.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hurt my children through my alcoholism.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself excuses about my behavior when I drink alcohol.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for my actions while drinking alcohol, but instead allowing myself to blame alcohol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drink alcohol from the starting point of deception and manipulation, drinking it because then I have an excuse to act irresponsible, do something I otherwise wouldn’t do, or be flirtatious, and afterwards use alcohol as the excuse for my behavior, knowing very well that I have used alcohol for this purpose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame alcohol for my actions and not taking self responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self honest while drinking alcohol.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot direct myself within self honesty while I drink alcohol.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be changed by alcohol.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support the abuse of drugs and alcohol by requiring something seperate from me to make my existance bareable
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to drink alcohol so that people around me would not feel bad about drinkin it themselves
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use alcohol to attempt and try and suppress this anger within me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to attempt and try and suppress this anger within me with substances such as drugs and medication – instead of me standing up within me as me and directing this anger through self forgiveness to release – to no longer accept and allow this anger within me to consume and overpower me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to put my children in danger because I get drunk
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to bring others in danger by driving drunk
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be a danger to others when I drink alcohol because it makes me agressive
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be a danger towards others when I am drunk because it makes me want to assault woman
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be an idiot when being drunk, acting stupid as if I have no braincell left, doing behavior that is dangerous for myself, others or the environment and nature.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to try and lure others into drinking along with me
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to boost my ego through alcohol consumption, which makes me act as if I am superior.

i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for associating drinking alcohol with meeting and having sex with girls/ladies. i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for wanting/desiring to hookup with drunk girls/ladies that show interest in me.
i forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for using drugs and alcohol as away to stimulate my mind as entertainment to take me away from facing myself and applying myself in self honesty to do what is best for myself and all.

forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drink alcohol as an escape from myself and my responsibility for myself, because I have not allowed myself to realize it is impossible to escape from myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink alcohol because my friends were doing it and I was aware that I was living DISHONESTY and continued to drink
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the judgments of my friends when I don’t drink along with them
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink alcohol when I am with my friends because since they are doing it I feel like I should do it so we all “loosen up” and can have a “good time” when those ideas only exist in the mind
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consumea lcohol to fit in, instead of realizing that I should stand within self honesty, to do whats best for all, not just as a follower of a group, but use my own common sense to make decisions and not depend them on what others do – because when I do that, I shift and shape myself to have others like me, where I will do things to make myself be liked even when the behavior is not good.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to drink alcohol out of fear
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see my fears to big to overcome, so I turn to alcohol

When and as I notice the urge to get drunk because those around me are doing it, I stop and direct myself to not be a follower, but to stand strong within myself and realize that alcohol is not good for me, and that if I require alcohol to be a certain way, that it is not real. And that alcohol creates a lot of friction, sickness, abuse and death within this world that I refuse to support. I realize that when people consume alcohol, their programmed mind gets boosted, where they will magnify the personality they have accepted within them: some will become more violent, some more flirtatious, some will fall asleep or act crazy, some will constantly feel insulted and argue constantly, and some will show their gigantic ego etc… I do not accept and allow a world where human beings do not take self-responsibility for who they are and what they experience within them – but rather hide in drugs.

When and as I notice the peer pressure feeling within me, I stop and realize that if a group rejects me for not consuming drugs together with them, then it is no “loss”. If that is required from me, and otherwise they discard me, then they can do so. It means they so called “friendship” is not real, and simply based on mutual abuse, desiring another person to consume drugs and “loose their mind”.

When and as I notice that I have drank too much, I stop drinking and realize what I am doing and take self responsibility for my behavior. I do not accept and allow my feelings and thoughts to control me, and I will not allow alcohol to “change” me and direct me. And I make sure that I do not let it happen again.

I realize alcohol is a danger in this world, and that we have proven that we cannot use it in a “responsible” way, that does not exist.

-Alcohol consumption by college students is linked to at least 1,400 student deaths and 500,000 unintentional injuries each year

-More than three-quarters of female victims of nonfatal domestic violence reported that their assailant had been drinking or using drugs

-Alcohol does not relieve depression- it makes it worse. Alcohol is a depressant

-One third of suicides are associated with alcohol misuse

-10% of alcohol health care costs are for care of fetal alcohol syndrome

-More than 18 million people who use alcohol need substance abuse treatment

-Health care costs attributed to alcohol abuse in 1995 were nearly twice those of drug abuse-related costs ($23 billion vs. $12 billion).

-alcohol misuse costs Australian community 15.3 billion dollars each year when factors such as crime and violence, treatment costs, loss of productivity and premature death were taken into account

-over 3 000 Australians die each year as a result of harmful drinking -Spending for alcohol ads on T.V. by the alcohol industry grew by 22%, to more than $990 million in 2002.

-Alcohol is often not thought of as a drug, yet it is a hard drug. -One third of homicides are associated with alcohol misuse

-One half of car accidents are associated with alcohol misuse.

-Alcohol and drug abuse are factors in the placement of more than three-quarters of children entering foster care

– Some 40% of violent crime, 78% of assaults and 88% of criminal damage cases are committed whilst the offender is under the influence of alcohol

-Over 1,000 young people under the age of 15 are admitted to hospital each year with alcohol poisoning

-of those involved in acquaintance rape, 75% of men and 55% of women had been drinking or taking drugs prior to the incident.

-Alcohol causes one to be mind-possessed, oblivious to the reality we live in, and having no self-responsibility what so ever.

And the Health risks:

  -Extended alcohol abuse can cause blood conditions including several forms of anemia and blood clotting abnormalities. These conditions could result in susceptibility to bleeding and bruising. Prolonged alcohol use can also impair white blood cell function and thus makes the abuser more likely to become infected. -Half the cancers in the esophagus, larynx and mouth are linked to alcohol. Additionally, intense vomiting from excessive drinking can tear the esophogus. -Excessive and prolonged alcohol consumption can cause contribute to conditions such as high blood pressure, heart disease and heart failure. -Osteoporosis and and some forms of arthritis can be advanced by alcohol abuse. Further, alcohol can lead to muscle atrophy, which can cause sharp muscle pain and weakness. -Prolonged heavy drinking can cause kidney failure. -Alcohol can reduce the amount of digestive enzymes secreted by the pancreas, thereby inflaming and leaking digestive enzymes, which subsequently attack the pancreas itself. -Because of alcohol’s affects on the brain and alcohol’s effects on the kidneys, hormonal production is affected.In men, this could mean that the production of sperm and testosterone are affected, and that can lead to impotence and/or infertility.In women, estrogen metabolism in the liver can be decreased, which boost estrogen levels in the body. These changes can contribute to menstrual irregularities and potentially infertility. -Alcohol can damage the cells lining the stomach and intestines, which can block the absorption and breakdown of nutrients in those organs.Also make you age faster.

If alcohol has more negative side effects and higher costs than any other drug, When it gives false feelings of happyness and confidence – but leaves many drained and depressed afterwards, When it is involved with more violence, rape, accidents, child neglect and death…. Does the argument of: “I like to get drunk” still stand? Some use the excuse that “a glass a day is healthy”. But so is healthy eating and not eating sugar and junkfood. But you know as well as I do that those things are an excuse for many drinkers + many people cannot hold to the standard of “1 glass a day”. and if they really care about their health they would do everything to be a healthy as possible. And many of them simply dont.I know some people who say that it is “healthy” to drink a glass of wine a day. But then on the other hand, they get drunk every week, eat junkfood, are overweight, have had numerous of diseases and even blood cloths etc… It doesnt make any sense, the words dont match their reality and what they do.

Humanity at this stage cannot be trusted with alcohol, we have proven this.Some may be able to use it in moderation, but the masses abuse it extensivly.I would say ban until we are responsible. We cant allow ana busive substance that is misused by the majority who prove they cannot take responsibility, hoping that some day they will realise and not be dumbed down and that all corporations and elite etc…will give proper education, not hide things, and create a world of value. We will have to do that, together – so a world of responsible beings can emerge where things dont even have to be forbidden. And why is weed banned in a lot of countries, but alcohol allowed? It is insane, given the above facts. Alcohol does do a good job in keeping the population dumb though… So that may be one of the reasons. Oh, and money ofcourse. And we even support this because we forgot to use our common sense. We even try to pursuade our peers into consuming drugs (which alcohol is). And may even reject them when they decline. We have become our own slave masters. Easy, then no one else has to do the dirty work.

Dare to stand up for yourself! And for life!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 27, 2012 in Human Behavior

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Day 12 – The Gossiper

Day 12 – The Gossiper

The “gossiping” that I refer to in this post, is purposely talking bad about another person. So consciously talking behind someones back simply for the sake of personal entertainment. Gossiping can be spoken out loud, or performed in ones mind.

Gossip is the deliberate act of causing harm upon another while that person is not present or knowing what you are talking about .
When we Gossip – we seek to make ourselves look better by bringing someone else down without supporting them at all. We then act as if we never talked when that person is around. Does this assist or help the person in any way? Does it assist and help you in any way? No. it creates a spiteful world of human beings who rather use “an eye for an eye”, instead of taking self-responsibility, doing what is best for all, and not being moved by emotions of spite because another has done something that one does not like.
If you have a problem with someone, communicate, talk, do not hold on to spite within yourself. Stop your reactions and see how you can deal with this situation in the most constructive way possible.
Within this blog post, I will place the self-forgiveness of the gossiper as described above.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in talking bad about another person behind their badk, because when I do this with another, I feel better about myself and get energy from talking down about another person – comparing myself and using this as a standard to boost my own ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use another person to boost my ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip about another person within my mind, so that I can feel better about myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto spitefulness regards another person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my gossip because I do not like the other person, or I do not like what they have done to me. And thus I take their actions personaly, and feel as if it is justified to talk shti about them, not realizing that I am not taking responsibility for my own reactions towards this person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip about people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip about people because then beings would come to me all curious and I could tell them something they did not know yet and they would give me lots of attention.

I forgive myself tat I have accepted and allowed myself to rather talk about other people and make people judge them because I am too scared to share something of me out of fear of other peoples judgements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I’m stabbing myself in my own back while gossiping about another – indicating that I am being self-dishonest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue talk about the gossip even though I clearly know I shouldn’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the attention i get while telling a gossip.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do something to get attention and feel good, without really looking at what I am truly supporting by allowing this – and that what I do is not best for all, and comes from a need for approval.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I was actually never really getting attention – only the gossip was.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell gossips just so I’d have something to tell.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide my own self behind gossips about other because I fear being rejected.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell gossips so I would feel accepted and liked by other people.
I forigve myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek acceptance outside of myself.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to accept myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell gossips so that the being I’m talking about gets “more unaccepted” and me “more accepted”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip so I would be accepted by the group.
I forigve myself that I have accepted and allowed myslef to gossip with friends instead of sharing interesting experiences of our own selves.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip so i would live in the illusion that I now belong in a group, the group fo beings that are listening to me while I tell the gossip.
I forigve myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people that gossip.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for gossiping.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the person(s) I’m gossiping about.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell a gossip so we can start a judgement party.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy gossiping and judging other people in group so i would feel better about myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk bad about other persons so I would feel good about myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip on a steady basis with the same people to make sure we all stay friends, to make sure we stay bound by the stories and gossips we tell.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip so i could present myself as beng somewhat “interesting” towards other beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell gossips about other people so that other people would come to me and would also tell gossips about other people so we could keep ourselves busy in our minds so that we don’t not have to see, did not have to realise that our friendships were actually dead and empty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip with friends so we did not have to see what was here, and what was here was nothing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to present a fake personality to the being I gossip about
I forgive msyelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to be totally surprised when I would fidn out people had been gossiping about me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to be totally devastated when I’d find out people had been gossiping about me.
I forigve msyelf that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that if I gossip about other people, the people gossip about me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use gossip as a separated designed tool to conform and open people instead of be just here as who I am as the presence as breath of life in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop myself in the moment of being in a gossiping situation. I realize now that even if I listen to gossip I am still a part of it because without a listener there would be no talker.

 

When and as I notice the desire within me to gossip, to feel better about myself or get attention, I stop and breath and do not allow myself to participate in this.

When and as I notice others start to gossip, I do not allow myself to accept this, and I bring in common sense into the converastion, not just accepting those others as gossipers, not laughing or anything that would seem as if I am “fine” with their gossiping. I do not allow myself to accept gossip in a passive way because I am to afraid to stand up, and because I am afraid to be rejected or to be seen as weird or because they then in result may gossip about me. I take responsibility for who I am, and what I speak and do, no matter what the others may say.

When and as I notice I have the desire to talk bad about others behind their back, I take a look at why I experience this, what the connections are – so that I am able to understand the emotions and thoughts that come up within me, so that I can take self-responsibility for them and direct myself to do what is best for all.

 

For discussion visit: http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php?f=35&t=239&p=826&hilit=gossip#p826

 

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 26, 2012 in Human Behavior

 

Tags: , , , ,

 
%d bloggers like this: