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Category Archives: Beauty and fashion

Day 20 – Heels are Supposed to Hurt! Stupid!

Day 20 – Heels are Supposed to Hurt! Stupid!

Who really is stupid? Wearing heals that cripple and damage your feet, which makes you sigh in relief whenever you take them of at the end of the day. Asking yourself why on earth you keep putting them on. Well to be sexy, attractive, show yourself of as powerful, “feminine” etc… All about what others will think about you.
Choosing our mind, over the health of our bodies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wear high heels that hurt my feet, simply because I think they make me look sexy, they make my ass stick out or elongate my legs, and I think about how others will notice this and judge me possitivly on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to derive my self-confidence and self-worth from the shoes I wear, feeling confident when I wear high heels, feeling not when I wear flats

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to le tmy self confidence be dependant on others opinions about me or the thoughts I have about others opinions about me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hurt my physical body, simply because of the desires and fears within my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear rejection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as ugly or undesirable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being seen as a woman or lady

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link high heels, which is damaging to the feet, as feminine and womanly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have gained confidence and power when I feel good when I wear high heels, not realizing that in fact I am getting this from the thoughts I have about others opinions about me, which is not self confidence at all, but merely shows my lack of confidence because i constantly need others approval and acceptance.

When and as I notice I want to wear high heels to be sexy/beautiful/have people notice me/have self confidence, I stop and breath and realize I am here, equal to others, part of life, not needing high heels to “enhance” myself, realizing that this is merely a construct of the beauty system and I do not require to follow it. I let go of the thoughts and accept my human physical body and realize it is good the way it is. I will treat it with the respect it/I deserve, and do what I can to keep it healthy.

When and as I notice judgements towards others who wear flat shoes or high heels, I stop and breath and realize these judgements are shallow beauty system constructs that do not serve life in any way. They only create friction inside and outside of myself. I will not allow myself to judge and take in this abusive construct.

I do not allow the profit driven consumerist system to make me insecure about what I look like, about the body that gives me life, the body I am. I refuse to be a slave to this, and direct myself to stop this system that creates fake desires in people in the sake of money, in the sake of request and demand.
I realize many people actually do not take in consideration where there desires come from, thinking it is their free will, while it is not.

I express myself within needing thoughts about how confident I am or how unconfident I am. I stop those thoughts of constant comparisson and fear about others thoughts about me.

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Day 19 – shopaholic

Day 19 – shopaholic

It started pretty young, around the age of 12-13. I used to spend all my money that I got from family members on, clothing, make-up or other things to “enhance” my appearance. I used to feel super exited about the idea of going to the stores or the mall. The day before I would feel as if I was going to an amusement park or something. The idea to make myself look so much prettier with those items made me really exited. I looked forward to it. In the shops I then would search for clothing that I found pretty and which would make me pretty, I would also buy hair coloring products, mascara’s, facial masks, hairmasks, shoes etc… A lot of shit.
What was behind this all was insecurity, and using others judgement about my appearance to judge myself. Feeling good when others found me pretty, feeling bad when they didn’t, or when I thought I looked ugly (which was most of the time). Because no matter how many compliments, I never really felt pretty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the beauty industry and media¬†to influence me to such an extend that I blindly copied the judgments from it, and place them unto myself and others, being directed as a slave to buy a shitload of products and items to apprantly make me “better”, “prettier”, “more perfect”. Not realizing how brainwashed I was and how this was driven by a profit driven system that exploits and abuses life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take in the judgmenets from the media about appearance, and from movies and peers and others around me, and use them to judge myself and according to that feel good or bad about myself. By doing this I make myself inferior to others, and to an industry which exploits life for profit

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to derive happyness from the buying of items and products that I hope will stop the insecurity and inferiority within me, using it to try and boost my self confidence, or others attraction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get exited about buying things to enhancem y beauty, not realizing how this is brainwashed within my mind, fueled by our profit driven system of consumerism and vanity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy things that I dont really need, simply because of a desire within me for approval of others, or because of fear within me about rejection or looking ugly and being judged

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let others judgements determin my behavior

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow what the fashion industry tells me looks good on me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live inside of a bubble of fear, trying to eleviate this fear through consumption

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize and take a good look at how the media and fashion industry programs people to be insecure and judge themselves and others to create profit, and how this whole industry actually exploits life, brings chemicals in nature, tests on animals, has people judging each other on looks or clothing, and creates a distrorted vision about what is important in the world

When and as I notice the judgements towards myself, the fear of others judgement or desire for approval come up, I stop and breath and let it go. I do not allow myself to judge myself or take on the judgements of others. I am a living being part of planet earth and refuse to support this vain and empty culture that w ehave created that exploits life.

When and as I notice the urge to go and buy products and items to so called “enhance” my physical appearance, because others would find it beautiful, I stop and breath and realize I do not require those products. People who judge others on that are brainwashed as well as I am, and do not realize yet what they are actually participating in. I refuse to participate in this any longer, and I will also speak out about this when I have the chance, to show others what I have realized about myself. SImply sharing my realization, and what they do with it is up to them.

 
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Posted by on May 3, 2012 in Beauty and fashion

 

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