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Monthly Archives: June 2012

Day 35 – Bullying and Being Bullied

Day 35 – Bullying and Being Bullied

A video of a girl being bullied at a bus stop is going around the web in Belgium. People are speaking out in absolute disgust of what the bullies did. Kayleigh is the 13 year old girl that got bullied. The bullies did a pretty dumbass move: they filmed it and posted it on Youtube… What did they think, that everyone was going to praise them for their bullying tactics? As a result, The mother of the bullied girl took the video and posted it on Facebook to show the world what happened to her daughter. It showed how the girl, at her very last schoolday, was bullied for 5 minutes where they kicked, mocked and got beaten. As a result of that, people massively responded in disapproval, and the bullies got suspended from school by the direction.

The girl was punched straight in the face. She does not punch back, she remains seated on the ground of the bus stop. “get up”, the bullies tell her while they pull Kayleighs hair. “Not for you”, she says. “Show that you are a man”, they reply. And eventually: “these are memories for later”.

These “memories for later” were posted on Youtube, but they have already been removed. Mother Michele could get the images on time and put them on facebook saying: watch and judge. Kayleigh wants this movie to become public. By doing this she wants to create action against the bullies (and bullying in general). Click “like” or share this video if you want to support her and speak out. Thanks to everyone willing to do this.

In the meanwhile the movie has been watched over 34.000 times.

The parents filed a complaint against the bullies.

http://nieuws.vtm.be/binnenland/201206295526-mama-zet-choquerend-pestfilmpje-online

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Bullying is not something new, it has been going on for ages (and worse). You may have been bullied yourself, or your friend, or maybe you were a bully in high school. It is unacceptable to do this to a human being, no matter what your reasons are.

But the question is: why do people turn out to become bullies? How does an innocent baby become a mean cruel person? It does not just happen by chance.

Bullying can take many forms such as: name-calling, teasing, punching, kicking, intimidation, social exclusion, abuse through text messages or e-mail, on facebook etc… There are a number of factors that can create a child into a bully: family, friends, community and the media.

Family and Self esteem

A child can come from an abusive family, parents who do not give much attention or lack involvement and care for their child. In return, the child may copy the behavior of his/her family. He or she may start to bully others to gain their lost self-esteem back or simply do it in a way to feel better, to release stress or desire to have a feeling of power and control.

Bullies tended to hold a negative view of themselves, suggesting they pick on others to feel better about themselves, and they may especially single out those who have trouble fitting in for other reasons. http://www.livescience.com/11163-bullies-bullying.html

However, there is also other research that indicated that those who bully have average or above average self-esteem. They can build this self-esteem through the support of their fellow support-bullies. This self-esteem thus still comes from others. Without any support, would this self esteem still be so high?

Bullies were more likely than non-bullies to live in families without two biological parents, such as living in single parent families, living with extended family members or with foster parents. Such situations may mean bullies, in some cases, do not receive as much attention at home, the scientists said. http://www.livescience.com/11163-bullies-bullying.html

Friends

Bullies are rarely alone. A lot of them have a pack, consisting of bully-supporters. They are by standers and will applaud the bully, laugh at the bullying. The reason for this can be fear of being bullied yourself, fear of exclusion, desire to belong, or a sadist personality but not daring enough to be the main bully. Bullying is often encouraged through interactions with fellow bullies and those who do not speak up about this abuse. There is this myth about bullies being loners, but this is false. Research shows that those who bully are not socially isolated and have an easy time making friends often. However, students who bully others tend to have difficulties with other relationships as well. This is what researchers from York University and Queens university found out. Their relationships with friends also were marked by a lot of conflict, and they tended to associate with others who bullied.

Environment

The research seems to indicate bullying is about “social attitudes manifesting themselves in a very basic way within the school environment,” said study researcher Ian Rivers of Brunel University in the United Kingdom. “So if the school really upholds sports, kids who are not good at sport are going to be victimized because they are not living up to the expectations of others.”

Although the research was conducted in the U.K., the results likely apply to children in the United States as well, since issues of sporting and sexual orientation are common to both countries, Rivers said.

 

Some of these issues may tie in to societal views as well. Society places a lot of value on possessions and “therefore envy can become a motivator,” Rivers said.

Communities might also be split on the issue of homosexuality, a topic some schools still have not properly address, Rivers said.

http://www.livescience.com/11163-bullies-bullying.html

Bullying connections

Children and youth who frequently bully their peers are more likely than others to

  • Get into frequent fights,
  • Be injured in a fight,
  • Vandalize property,
  • Steal property,
  • Drink alcohol,
  • Smoke,
  • Be truant from school,
  • Drop out of school, and
  • Carry a weapon.

Research also shows that

  • Children who bully are more likely to report that they own guns for risky reasons, such as to gain respect or frighten others.
  • Boys who were identified as bullies in middle school were four times as likely as their non bullying peers to have more  than one criminal conviction by age 24.

Characteristics of the bully

Bullies tend to:

-lack empathy -experienced lots of conflict in their relationships with their parents -view violence in positive ways -have difficulty following rules -are easily frustrated -are impulsive, hot-headed, dominant

Conclusion

It is obvious that there are many factors in play. To stop bullying, we will have to create a worldwide system of self-responsibility and equality. In a world divided, there will always be situation of abuse, lack of proper communication and support, no proper parenting, or stigmatization of outgroups. To end bullying, we require to fundamentally change our society, which means: change the media, change how parenting happens, education etc… We cannot expect the children to lead everyone into a better future, if they do not get the example of what it means to be a responsible caring human being. How many children in this world get raised with bad examples? Are raised to derive happiness from others approval or praise, or the objects and stuff they can obtain? How many children get praised only when they excel in something, when they can beat others, and get punished when they have bad grades or loose in sports? What does our system of competition actually show our children: that winners are good and losers are bad, that you should feel good about beating others, that it means your BETTER. That there are always losers, and always winners, and that it is “normal”. And then on tv we see violence, spite, jealousy and abuse. Children often copy this blindly. Parenting is often left unsupervised. Parents often do not get the support they require. Now everyone can raise their child to their own liking, often not realize the damage they are doing. Therefore all parents should get parenting support, and at least parenting classes. In that way, we could give our children the best chances of becoming the best they can be, learn proper communication, not deriving their happiness from others approval etc… Then those children would grow up, and in time raise up their own children in more effective ways.

Ending current bullying is important not only for the bullied, for also for the bullies themselves. A lack of empathy, and desire for self-gain can cause someone to commit crimes much more easily, and continue their life in a cycle of aggression. He or she may never learn to properly communicate or understand where their bullying behavior or abuse comes from. And the bullied child may get scared during the years he/she was bullied, which will have impact on their self-esteem and further life. Therefore it is each parents responsibility to raise their child in the most effective way possible for it to become a caring human being, as well as dealing with one’s own emotional problems to make sure it is not passed onto the children. Together with this, we must work together to change this system fundamentally, towards one that is actually supportive for all human beings and life on this planet. This is currently not the case. We are setting a bad example, and a rotten tree will never bare beautiful fruit. Let us learn our lesson.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat another being as less than myself, and do unto them what I wuold not want done unto myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my emotions to control me, to a point where I will assert my frustration and desires upon other people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the approval of my friends, in order to feel good as a person

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire people to be afraid of me, and in this see me as “more” as them, where I have a sense of power over them and the situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I actually lack self-confidence and self-acceptance and therefor I go and abuse others, and try and have others approval or liking or have others fear me, in order to lift my self-confidence or feel like I have power over something

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand by and do nothing when I see someone get bullied

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think it is not my responsibility to get involved with other peoples business, even if this means another defenceless person is being abused/bullied. That I justify this because of my own fears of being hurt or bullied in return

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how our system has shaped me to become fearful and just a bystander that does not act

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how our system creates bullies

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a slave of the feelings and emotions that go on inside me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that another person deserves to be bullied

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I bully , it has nothing to do with the other person, but only with myself and who I allow myself to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a bully of bullies, thinking they require to be bullied in return as punishment, but not realizing how this is not solving the situation, and how I am not taking self-responsibility for my own behavior and feelings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider and investigate why children become bullies in the first place, and what would be an actual solution to this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I was in the shoes of the one I bullied, I would not like it at all

I commit myself to stand for a world where there is adequate parenting and education, without any reward for selfish, egoistical or abusive behavior. So children do not get trained to become bullies. We require a world system that focusses on our equality as part of life, on cooperation and on what is actually best for all.

When and as I notice the desire for approval come up, I stop and breath and realize that anothers approval says nothing, and I investigate where this desire comes from.

When and as I notice the desire to bully another comes from, or to act cool and tough, I stop and breath and do not allow myself to follow this desire. I direct myself to investigate why I have become this way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sources:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/03/080325083300.htm

http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_Children_Who_Bully/?page=2

Byrne, B. J. (1994). Bullies and victims in school settings with reference to some Dublin schools. Irish Journal of Psychology, 15, 574-586.

Cairnes, R. B., Cairnes, B. D., Neckerman, H. J., Gest, S. D., & Gariepy, J. L. (1988). Social networks and aggressive behavior: Peer support or peer rejection? Developmental Psychology, 24, 815-823.

Cunningham, P. B., Henggeler, S. W., Limber, S. P., Melton, G. B., and Nation, M. A. (2000). Patterns and correlates of gun ownership among nonmetropolitan and rural middle school students. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 29, 432-442.

Espelage, D., Bosworth, K., & Simon, T. (2000). Examining the social context of bullying behaviors in early adolescence. Journal of Counseling and Development, 78, 326-333.

Limber, S. P. (2002). Addressing youth bullying behaviors. Proceedings from the American Medical Association Educational Forum on Adolescent Health: Youth Bullying. Chicago, IL: American Medical Association.

Nansel, T. R., Overpeck, M. D., Haynie, D. L., Ruan, W. J., & Scheidt, P. C. (2003). Relationships between bullying and violence among US youth. Archives of Pediatric Adolescent Medicine, 157, 348-353.

Nansel, T. R., Overpeck, M., Pilla, R. S., Ruan, J., Simons-Morton, B., & Scheidt, P. (2001). Bullying Behaviors Among US Youth: Prevalence and Association With Psychosocial Adjustment. Journal of the American Medical Association, 285, 2094-2100.

Olweus, D. (1993). Bullying at school: What we know and what we can do. NY: Blackwell.

Olweus, D., Limber, S., & Mihalic, S. (1999). The Bullying Prevention Program: Blueprints for Violence Prevention. Boulder, CO: Center for the Study and Prevention of Violence.

Rigby, K. & Slee, P. T. (1993). Dimensions of interpersonal relations among Australian school children and their implications for psychological well-being. Journal of Social Psychology, 133, 33-42.

Slee, P. T., & Rigby, K. (1993). The relationship of Eysenck’s personality factors and self-esteem to bully-victim behaviour in Australian schoolboys. Personality and Individual Differences, 14, 371-373.

 
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Posted by on June 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Day 34 – Everything is in Plan, I Accept it

Day 34 – Everything is in Plan, I Accept it

simple but radical spiritual practice is to accept whatever arises in the Now — within & without. ~E. Tolle

aiaiai, Tolle, what are you saying?! Maybe I am missing some important context here. But many people can use this quote as a way to defend their self-intrest and lack of action.

Is it spiritual to accept that abuse on Earth? The corporate bosses exploiting resources and damaging the environment and animals, boosting superficial desires in consumers? The leaders who are doing things which are not best for all? Why should we accept this creation of destruction and manipulation? Sure, accepting it will give you peace of mind. But it wont give your peace of mind if you were actually the one being abused. Tolle’s message seems to be for the elite, those who can live quite comfortably. So I thought, maybe he means: to accept it as something that is here, but not accept it as: accepting it, and allowing it to be here without adressing it. Because if we would accept it, as in: allowing it. Then we are allowing some serious destructive things. They chop the amazone because they need to go along in the capitalist system… accept it They starve because of the global economy… accept it Animals are abused on massive scale to make profit… accept it Children prostitute themselves in some countries in order to survive … accept it Crime that comes from poverty, often creates crime in the countries contributing to the poverty, which then punish the crime not realizing their part in their creation… accept it People get programmed to view each other as objects of lust, that have to fulfill a certain picture ideal… accept it Your used as a slave to the consumption machine, and even pass this on to the children… accept it

Come on…

Let’s now look at “accept whatever arises WITHIN”. We are programmed within a certain culture, people that surround us, media etc… this shapes our “inside”. Eventually this creates certain thoughts popping up in certain moments. It can be gossip, self-judgement or judgement of others, it can be sexual thoughts, or jealousy and so forth. It is not about “accepting” these thoughts. It is about realizing how they are programmed within us and re-aligning ourselves to do what is best for all and best for ourselves. Thus not blind acceptance, but self direction.

If Hitler or Bush said that quote, it would probably be a whole other story. Never just accept a quote from someone you consider to be “spiritual” or “bigger and better”. Always investigate for yourself. Be your own leader.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use excuses such as believing that everything is in “plan” and “how it is supposed to be”, in order to feel more at ease and better about myself and this world – placing my self intrest above the common good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use excuses to keep being ignorant and inactive towards the reality we all co-create daily, and which is greatly abusive to many human beings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the words of so called “spiritual masters” blindly, without using any common sense or looking at if it is actually best for all – in this I am doing the same as any religious follower

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify the abuse in this world by saying that it is all how it is supposed to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do unto another what I wouldnt want to be done unto myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself above others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to devaluate others lives according to the believes I hold

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe others suffer for a divine reason

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe others suffer for a divine reason because it makes life easier for myself, it gives me peace of mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly follow the thoughts popping up in my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly follow believes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not investigate if something is best for all or not

I commit myself to stop the bullshit excuses that the suffering and abuse is all “in a plan”. We are currently simply walking as slaves, slaves to the way we are programmed, determined by our upbringing, culture etc… Suffering in this world, as in : starvation, sweatshop labor, animal exploitation etc… is a deliberate creation of people who want to have profit, a creation of our monetary system. That is the only plan behind it, and it is not divine at all.

I commit myself to stop this system of exploitationa nd bring about a world best for all, where no deliberate abuse is created.

When and as I notice the feelings and believes come up, I stop and breath and do not allow them to control me. I do not allow myself to be a slave of my emotions or follow a thought because it gives me peace of mind.

 

 
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Posted by on June 28, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Day 33 – I Need Plastic Surgery! I NNEEEDDDDD it

Day 33 – I Need Plastic Surgery! I NNEEEDDDDD it

17% of the girls and about 12% of boys considers plastic surgery. This is the conclusion of an international youth study around “being unique”, from research bureau InSites Consulting.

About 91% of Belgian girls between age 15 and 25 would change something on their body if this could be done in an easy way. The numbers are also quite high with the boys (73%). Girls are the least satisfied about their stomach (43%), thighs”(33%) and breasts(22%). Boys want to improve their muscle mass (18%), stomach (17%) and penis (11%).

Eyes

Not everyone considers plastic surgery for these issues. About 15% of all Belgian youngsters would. Belgian girls are most proud about their eyes (50%), hair (28%) and breasts (21%). Only 6 % is proud of their entire body. Double the amount of boys (13%) are proud about everything, but most on their eyes (40%), hair (17%) and penis (13%).

When we compare it to international statistics, we find that in comparison to 16 countries, our country is a little lower than the average. 23% of girls and 16% of boys in those 16 countries worldwide consider plastic surgery.

Narcissists

In China and India young woman give much less importance to their stomach and breasts. The attention goes to the skin, eyes and hair. In Brazil, girls focus less on their thoughts, but more  on their breasts and stomach. Brazil jumps out of the statistics regarding plastic surgery, since almost half (47%) of young woman and 34% of young men would consider it.

The current generation of youngsters is often called the most narcissistic group ever , by scientists, says Joeri Van den Bergh, Gen Y expert of InSites Consulting and author of the book ‘Maak je merk cool’ (make your brand cool). In that sense, it is not surprising that looking good has become so important. It is not just an occurrence with youngsters, but is present in the whole of society. Think about the increased importance of product designs and wrappings, or the big attention to interior design.

Unique

57% of the Belgian Youngsters thinks themselves to be unique to very unique (which makes them not so unique after all;)). In Belgium the youngsters want to be different based on the thinks they tell others (42%), their clothing (37%) and their profession (36%). Also hobbies, the cities and countries they visited and the music they listen to are important ways for them to differentiate from others. Most of the youth does not want to be unique based on their political ideology.

Good friend

4 in 10 Belgian youngsters want to be remembered most as “a good friend”. Other qualities likes: loyalty (31%), friendliness (27%) and honesty (21%) are also considered to be desirable qualities.

The research was conducted from 4065 respondents between 15 and 25 years (Generation Y) from 16 countries, some of those: United States, Brazil, China, Netherlands and Belgium.

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I’m part of generation Y, and I must admit that for a long time I have had the same mindset. I was unsatisfied with so many things about myself. I wanted to change my hair, change my breasts, change my skin, change my feet etc… there was always something that needed to be changed. Everywhere you see media advertisements, on Tv, in the streets, even in movies. You see beautiful actors and singers, you see them get praised. On tv they tell you how to get the “perfect” hair, the “perfect skin”, stomach, ass… It is an ideal unable to be reached. You can never ever eeeveerrrr have skin without pores. Ok. Photoshop is digital. Sure you can plug up your pores with make up, make your skin seem perfect. But is that worth suffocating your skin, putting on a mask to be ‘accepted’? Accepted by who, and why would you even want to obey to someone who only accepts you when your fake and superficial an in anxiety of being rejected by others? Does not sound like the best friend to me…

Demand equals supply in our current system. And when the population can be hooked on something, it is often used and abused to make profit from it. Like what is happening with the way we look. Some play in on it, it sells, and then more and more starts to come. And people buy it, and hope it will make them “better”, “happier”. It becomes a vicious cycle which we cannot blame the corporations for. It is all of us, contributing to it. Whenever you are gossiping infront of your child about who is pretty, or who is ugly, how ridiculous this or that person is dressed etc… you are setting an example for them. An example not worth following.

Alongside the cultural commentaries which proliferate on the subject of the technological contributions to youth self-absorption come a series of other concerns, such as Harvard Psychiatrist Dr. John Ratey’s contention that the modern obsession with technology may be physically rewiring youth brains into patterns consistent with what he calls “acquired attention deficit disorder.” Dr. Elias Aboujaoude, director of Stanford University’s Impulse Control Disorders Clinic at Stanford University, agrees. In a Nov 15 interview reported in the San Francisco Chronicle, Dr. Aboujaoude comments, “The more we become used to just sound bites and tweets, the less patient we will be with more complex, more meaningful information. And I do think we might lose the ability to analyze things with any depth and nuance. Like any skill, if you don’t use it, you lose it.”

So there is another danger lurking for generation Y, a short attention span. I don’t know if this is a new item, but I can actually attest to this. I myself, have a short attention span, so I have to force myself to do certain things. I have to force myself to research, to write my school papers, to study, to investigate about our system etc… So I know very well, that “short attention span” is no excuse. We have to consider what Is necessary to do currently, and for me this is working towards the common good and standing for a new system that does what is best for all to our best ability. This includes self direction, thus: not being a slave to a programmed short attention span. And actually, once you start to push yourself, the whole attention span issue fades and you start to enjoy giving more attention and research to certain subjects. All it requires is your push.

the “use it or lose it” paradigm to which Dr. Aboujaoude refers. We will discover that human beings and brains are much more plastic than we thought. When our individual and collective success demands that we concentrate on something for longer than 4 seconds, our youth will be the first to lead us out of the tweeting age and into the next age – whatever it may be.

So let’s step up, and not be blind consumers who just go about their day seeking for the next fulfillment. If you are really feeling that empty, that you constantly have to look for attention and entertainment, then that shows you there is something wrong. Not only within society, but within ourselves, which is shaped by society.

Why desire to be special? Why even think about this in the first place? That there is even a need to start thinking about whether one is special, is showing us something.

Co-author to Jean Twenge, W Keith Campbell of the University of Georgia, states that narcissism can be beneficial when meeting new people or are auditioning for “American Idol” Campbell goes on to say that narcissism can prove to have a negative effect when it comes to close relationships, causing a breakdown.

Those that are narcissistic are the ones that will more than likely have short-lived romantic relationships, cheat on their significant others, and lack in genuine emotional warmth. They will probably display dishonesty, violent behavior, and tend to be controlling. In addition, narcissists will also lack empathy, react negatively to criticism, while considering their own needs and desires before others.

Yeah, auditioning for Americal Idol is so much more important than deep honest relationships with others ofcourse… Considering the praise idols receive.

Our future

If we do not stop, we are marking our future to become very unpleasant, which it already is for many people around the world. The more selfish we become, the less caring, the more we will ignore the abuse in this world, only work for our own gain and treat others as less than how we wish to be treated ourselves. This not only has effect on our own well being and that of others, but also on animal abuse and our environment. Because often people will not even take the time to investigate what happens to animals in slaughter houses, shutting off their mind because it makes them feel bad to realize the truth. Or buying products from companies or even becoming producers of products damaging our environment, merely for profit (personal gain!).  We must realize the impact of our current creation, of what children and thus adults we are bringing into this world. A system divided, will not  bring benefit to the whole.

We require a re-orientation towards a society that is best for all, and works on the common good. Where we do not give our children the superficial consumerist messages we give them today, and do not give them the example of judgmental behavior. This is very possible, because there are cultures in this world who already focus on this, and where young people show respect for life, help others and do their best to contribute. But this has to expand globally. So a free market,  does not contribute to the common good. It gives the ability to producers to exploit, feed selfish desires, and profit simply “because there is a demand”.

Demand does not equal production. That, is warped thinking, and destructive instead of constructive.

Entertainment in the Equal money system

In an Equal Money System, in a world where everyone’s basic living needs are always taken care of, and where everyone is provided with the amenities essential to a comfortable lifestyle, where we are all equal in quality of life, obviously the whole point of profit making and success is removed. Can entertainment exist in a world without business? Will there still be actors and musicians who want to act and make music if financial success is no longer a motivator? Of course! Because, when you remove profit and survival as a motivator, you don’t remove the human capacity for self-expression, you don’t remove the human capacity to work together as a team to produce a movie, an album, a television show. And you don’t remove the human’s capacity to produce the technology that allows us to enjoy entertainment.

In an Equal Money System, producing entertainment becomes something we choose to do because we like doing it, because it is self-expression. We like to write a story, we like to act, we like to engineer sound, we like to work with cameras and lighting, we like to work with computers and editing, we like to sing, we like to record music, we like to design televisions, we like to work with electricity, we like to program games. With the removal of the need to make profit, comes the end of entertainment as a ‘consumer product’. Entertainment will no longer be about ‘consuming a product’, it will be about enjoying a product – the product of those passionate about producing something for us to enjoy.

The infrastructure for a comprehensive entertainment system for humanity to enjoy already exists. In an Equal Money System access to the technology and resources involved in, for example making a movie, are no longer controlled to make profit, because there is no need to make profit. Thus, we are freed up to use our resources, use our infrastructure, to produce and deliver the highest quality projects possible, without budget as a limitation. The considerations involved in producing entertainment will be practical ones, where one will have work out the logistics of a project to see what is required in terms of energy, equipment, manpower, distribution, and our ability to create something will depend on who wants to get involved in the project. A team that wants to make a movie will have to fulfill the roles of writers, directors, actors, equipment operation and maintenance, editors, designers, engineers, etc. Within entertainment, the role of every person involved in producing something will be a role that someone is willing to fulfill. With an Equal Money System the need to survive through finding a way to make money no longer exists, so every single job required to be done to make a movie, or a game, or record an album, will be a job that a person chooses to do because they want to.

And who will have access to entertainment? Everyone will! Televisions, computers, movies, music — all of these things have become an ingrained part of our human experience. Everyone will have access to the highest quality televisions, the highest quality computers, the highest quality musical equipment. We will have the freedom to apply ourselves in designing the most effective technology and equipment for humanity to use, because we will no longer be limited by the need to make a profit. In an Equal Money System we are free to express ourselves, free to entertain ourselves to our fullest potential for excellence.

Aspects of entertainment that will no longer be feasible, will be anything that involves unnecessary wasting of resources, and anything that brings harm to any human, animal, or part of nature

http://equalmoney.org/wiki/Entertainment

Sources:

http://www.nieuwsblad.be/article/detail.aspx?articleid=DMF20120626_048&saved=1#reageer

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/youth-and-consequences/200911/mirror-mirror-the-wall-youth-narcissism-and-us-0

http://voices.yahoo.com/narcissism-among-youth-246135.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my physical body as ugly/imperfect/not good enough, because in my life I have learned that you are judged on the way you look, and I have taken in that judgement and placed it upon myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to copy the behavior of that around me, even though I realize it is not good for me or for anyone else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my physical body because others judge it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others physical body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire approval, and going as far as modifying my human body to get the approval

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend my self worth and self confidence on the way I look, and thus on the image in the mirror, on what others think about me and how they judge me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mutilate my body because of the judgements in my mind

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give superficial people power over me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let superficial people decide whether I am good enough or not

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let superficial people determin what I do to my body, and when I am pretty or when I am not

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as pretty or ugly

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realiza that it does not matter what another judges about my body, and that those who judge me according to the way I look are not worth to spend time with, and are no true friends or beings that care about me. If they only care about me when I look a certain way, then this care is conditional

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adopt the beauty standards my culture has placed upon me, and carry it on and even pass it on to the next generations by living by it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my body is fine the way it is, and that I should honor it, as who I am, giving me the ability to live and enjoy this planet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my body for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not direct myself in self honesty, by stopping the judgements within my mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be special, more so than others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be better than others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my ego to control me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into competition with others of my gender

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how competition and ego creates a world of abuse, where losers are punished and “winners” are praised – while the winners are often beings that do not do what is best for all, may be selfish, egoistical, and non-caring. But the system doesnt give about that, all that matters is who wins.

I commit myself to stop a system that places superficial beauty messages within society, which children see and adopt, and which people internalize. This creates a judgemental world which is not best for all, where it is all about looks and status, all fueled by money, the desire for profit.

When and as I notice negative thoughts about my body come up, I stop and breath and realize my body is fine the way it is, and I support it in its health the best way I can. I do not allow myself to go through plastic surgery simply so others could like the way I look more. I stop the judgements towards myself.

I commit myself to stop this system of exploitation that sends our children the wrong messages, teaches them to judge, and become superficial beings that only look for their own gain and happyness, and close their eyes and ears towards what is actually going on in this world.

I commit myself to stop this system which trains children to be slaves, and not think for themselves. I stand for a new system, where all can live as equals, and where none is judged for how they look, and therefor placed above another or given more chances.

 
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Posted by on June 27, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Day 32 – My Child is Suffering in Poverty

Day 32 – My Child is Suffering in Poverty

I recently watched a documentary about children from England who live in poverty. They often lived in split families, where the parent was unable to find a job. One of the children was speaking out on how insane it is that the government was saying how important it is to have a job, yet they are cutting jobs, and there are only jobs available for 1 in 5 people. The father kept looking for a job but found none. Because of their poor situation, the boy does not have decent clothing to wear to school. They wear uniforms, but his pants is to small and ripped, because they can’t afford new ones. The children in his class call him ripped pants, as well as girl shirt. Because he wears a shirt from his sister since they can’t afford a new one.

Then there were two girls in the documentary, one was around 15, the other 8 years old. They both talked about self-mutilation and suicide. The youngest one sometimes scratches her eczema so hard, that it starts to bleed, because it helps her calm down. The older one talked about how she had tried to kill herself, because of the situation they had to live in. The older one was talking about school, and how it is all about the clothing you wear and how you look. And because she had no money to buy “the right” clothing, she got bullied and often ignored, which caused her to hurt herself because it made her feel better.

The children went to play to the park, but some of them had no friends to play with. A little boy mentioned that he often felt lonely. And they were mentioning that rich children can play puzzles and color when they get bored, but they had none of such things. They often don’t even have 3 meals a day. In the evening she had a sausage role and that was it. In the winter they can’t afford heating, so it is their least favorite time of the year. They often simply lay in bed under the covers to try and keep warm.

You have scenes of some girls playing around in an old house, and you may think: “look, they are poor but they are happy.” But that is a very misguided thing to say. When you actually hear their stories, you realize they simply try to make the best of their situation, but do not feel well over all. They often resort to self-mutilation and thoughts of suicide. A little girl said in the end, that she didn’t want to grow up. She repeated it two times. She had no hope for herself and her future, because of the struggle she saw her mom go through. Same for their house. On the outside it looks quite ok, but when you have a look inside you can see the mold on the walls, cracked beds. One of the girls mentioned that “it must be very bad people who let someone live in such a house”.

It is really sad to watch this, and puts you face to face with the reality that is out there. It is unacceptable that people have to live like that. In this system there will never be enough jobs for all, unless you create shitloads of useless jobs which are often damaging to human beings and our environment. It is a situation that can be stopped. So that people do not have to depend on a job in order to live and have what they need to survive. You may have some questions raising up right now, or even thinking that it is impossible. But that is simply because you have never know anything else than the system you have been living in. We sometimes think as if it is the best thing we can achieve, but really, that is very limiting. It is the “best thing” in an ego and profit driven consumer and competitor system yes, but is it the best system out of all options we have? Not even close.

You can watch the documentary here:

http://www.deredactie.be/cm/vrtnieuws/mediatheek/programmas/koppen/2.22634/1.1338338

The beginning is in dutch, but the documentary itself is in English.

For info on what we can change and how we can change it, check out the following pages:

http://equalmoney.org/wiki/Labour http://equalmoney.org/wiki/Education

http://equalmoney.org/

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world system where we support a system that does not what is best for all, and has negative consequences such as starvation, poverty, slave labor and animal abuse, all in the sake of money and profit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify and ifnd excuses for our current system, not realising I am actually defending my own enslavement and that of others, not realizing how I am making excuses for abuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to stay blind because facing reality makes me feel bad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowedmyself to pretend everything is allright so I can keep feeling good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my own feelings and self intrest above the common good, even continuing others suffering by standing by and doing nothing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that those children in poverty could have been my own children, if we would have been born in their place, and their circumstances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my own children before others because of the bond I feel with them, where I depend my actions in life on the way I feel and not what is actually best for all. Which results in me not really caring about others in FACT/reality, because caring means action. Caring does not just mean feeling something. Because when you only feel bad but on the other hand dont do anything, it is not true physical real caring.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have opinions about why this system can never change, and justifying poverty in that way, without really investigating if and how it can change. So I form an opinion purely on how I feel and what I hear, without any proper research and investigation, just because it is convenient to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how, if it were my children or myself, I would want to be helped and I would want another system, and move heaven and earth to give my children a better life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where children get raised to be selfish and non caring for others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where children get raised into poverty and situations where they get bad examples and no proper parenting or education, which shapes them as adults and thus also our future. Within that I didnt realize how important it is to INCLUDE all beings, to have equal chances in life, so that they can develop their potential which will lift up not only their life, but for the whole of humanity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how our ignorance creates a backlash and will result in problems in the long run

I commit myself to stand for a world best for all, a world where all beings have equal chances ,where everyone can develop themselves and where we stand for the common good, instead of that of the minority. Such a world, which does what is best for all, is the only world that will actually do what is in fact best for the majority. And I will stand for that, no matter if others say it is possible or not. This is what is best, and what I will stand for regardless of others approval. I will do my best to contribute and eventually others may see that it indeed works best.

I commit myself to speak out about the abuse within our system, and refuse to keep a blind eye. I refuse to be yet another person that is blind and deaf, I refuse to be someone who silences the ones in need simply because of my own feelings.

 
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Posted by on June 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Day 31 – It’s Just an Animal

Day 31 – It’s Just an Animal

Many times I have heard people in my family say “it are just animals, they are made to be eaten”. As if the sole purpose of an animal is to be consumed. Not only that, but often times extremely abused. They are disregarded because they look and communicate differently. Even when confronted with the horror of the meat industry, such as how they keep foie gras ducks in these small cages shoving tubes down their throat to produce a fat and sick liver, one of them still is able to say: “mmm good food.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see animals as inferior to humans

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe humans are superior to animals because I am a human myself, and consider myself superior because of whatever reason that justifies it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see humans as superior because they can talk with words, reason, build, invent etc…

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by that reason, I clame all disabled, mentally retarded etc… people as inferior

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a speciest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my species as superior

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I would hate it if an alien species would come down to earth and eat my family because they see us as inferior- not realizing how I am doing and allowing the very same thing to animals

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about the abuse going on in the meat industry

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the abuse in the meat industry, and only think off those animals as “good food”, as a defense mechanism to not feel vulnerable. Because I fear to care, because caring means to look at this world the way it is and actually stand face to face with what we allow. And I want to hide from that, be blind to it, to not feel it, so I can continue to live in my illusion and be happy.

I commit myself to stand for a world that is best for all, including for the animals, plants etc… and to work on a system which takes in consideration all life, and stops abuse, and creates as less abuse as possible. A system that will not tolerate any unescessary abuse or exploitation, and will use the full potential of humanity to create the best world we possibly can.

When and as I notice I go into a defense mode when someone points out the truth of this world, I stop and breath. I let go of the emotions and I simply see what is here in reality, so that I can start to take responsibility for it.

I commit myself to stop placing my emotions and feelings on nr 1, even ignoring the truth because I want to feel good. Because by doing that, I am contributing to the abuse in this world, because I justify it, ignore it or just pretend to not give a shit.

 
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Posted by on June 24, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Day 30 – idolizing

Day 30 – idolizing

In our world, we have some people who “made it”, who can sing will, entertain, act etc… A lot of one’s success often has to do with how your portrayed by the media, and how much attention they spend on you. A person is often picked out to be hyped, instead of the other way around. Manufacturing companies have to hype celebritiesto ensure exposure of all their spin off products.

People then look up to this person, or want to be with them. Because somehow, they are better than themselves, or than those they know. The idol becomes some kind of fantasy creature which is perfect, great, magnificent, and slightly inhuman. And people seem to be able to keep up this lie to themselves, even with all the paparazzi who shows that stars are no angels, not great superhumans, and are just ordinary people. They show pictures of stars without make-up, stars going to shop, getting drunk, divorcing, getting plastic surgery because of their insecurity etc… But still, some hold on to their illusion.

“Unfortunately, in our recent time we tend to live in ‘narcissistic societies’ that celebrate anyone who manages to get attention of the masses for whatever reason…we like to see ordinary people getting famous even for wrong reasons or for no achievement at all (the popularity of reality shows). The reason lies in our own wishful dream to be in their place, because if they can do it, we can be next, can’t we?

Why would be worshiping a scientist who discovers a cure? We know we would never be clever enough to be in his place. We like the idea of fame for everyone, just to ‘shine’ if only for one day… http://hubpages.com/question/53514/why-do-people-worship-moviefilm-celebrities”

 

Some people have a so called “void in their heart”, longing to fill this in with a fantasy world they create within their mind. The idol becomes an obsession, someone that fills that voice, and someone to dream about. Often one’s own future plans can involve this idol, even when it will never come true. At least the illusion is alive, and that is why the person is worshipping him/her.

Idols are also always in the spotlight. You see them in magazine’s, on TV, on the internet, you hear others talk about them. It is like you know them, like you are part of their life. It creates this familiarity which people feel good about. We are social animals who like to get in touch, meet others and spend time together (sometimes). The idols may be far away, but the media brings them close to us, as a part of the global community. Some people find comfort in reading about them and watching them, seeing how they are facing similar struggles: getting divorced, not looking “that hot” without make-up. So sometimes it is used as comparison, as a way to raise self-esteem by thinking “EVEN celebrities experience this”. Idolization is not a recent phenomenon. There were people in ancient times who openly worshiped idols, mostly in the form of statues of Gods or Goddesses. They prayed to them, asked them for guidance and gave them gifts to be in their favor. A manmade construct. It gives a sense of security, it takes away the threat of death and makes you feel like you are contributing, doing something “good”, often getting a second chance.

 

Here are the fan classifications:

Entertainment-social

This dimension comprises attitudes that fans are attracted to a favorite celebrity because of their perceived ability to entertain and become a social focus such as “I love to talk with others who admire my favorite celebrity” and “I like watching and hearing about my favorite celebrity when I am with a large group of people”.

Intense-personal

Intense-personal aspect of celebrity worship reflects intensive and compulsive feelings about the celebrity, akin to the obsessional tendencies of fans often referred to in the literature; for example “I share with my favorite celebrity a special bond that cannot be described in words” and “When something bad happens to my favorite celebrity I feel like it happened to me’”.

Borderline-pathological

This dimension is typified by uncontrollable behaviors and fantasies regarding scenarios involving their celebrities, such as “I have frequent thoughts about my favorite celebrity, even when I don’t want to” and “My favorite celebrity would immediately come to my rescue if I needed any type of help”.

Mental Health and Idolizing

Evidence indicates that poor mental health is correlated with celebrity worship. Researchers have examined the relationship between celebrity worship and mental health in United Kingdom adult samples. Maltby et al. (2001) found evidence to suggest that the intense-personal celebrity worship dimension was related to higher levels of depression and anxiety. Similarly, Maltby et al., in 2004, found that the intense-personal celebrity worship dimension was not only related to higher levels of depression and anxiety, but also higher levels of stress, negative affect, and reports of illness. Both these studies showed no evidence for a significant relationship between either the entertainment-social or the borderline-pathological dimensions of celebrity worship and mental health.

Another correlated pathology was recently reported by Maltby, Giles, Barber and McCutcheon (2005) who examined the role of celebrity interest in shaping body image cognitions. Among three separate UK samples (adolescents, students and older adults) individuals selected a celebrity of their own sex whose body/figure they liked and admired, and then completed the Celebrity Attitude Scale along with two measures of body image. Significant relationships were found between attitudes toward celebrities and body image among female adolescents only.

The findings suggested that, in female adolescence, there is an interaction between intense-personal celebrity worship and body image between the ages of 14 and 16 years, and some tentative evidence is found to suggest that this relationship disappears at the onset of adulthood, 17 to 20 years. These results are consistent with those authors who stress the importance of the formation of relationships with media figures, and suggest that relationships with celebrities perceived as having a good body shape may lead to a poor body image in female adolescents.

Within a clinical context the effect of celebrity might be more extreme, particularly when considering extreme aspects of celebrity worship. Maltby, Day, McCutcheon, Houran and Ashe (2006) examined the relationship between entertainment-social, intense-personal and borderline-pathological celebrity worship and obsessiveness, ego-identity, fantasy proneness and dissociation. Two of these variables drew particular attention; fantasy proneness (time spent fantasising, reporting hallucinatory intensities as real, reporting vivid childhood memories, having intense religious and paranormal experiences) and dissociation (reflects the lack of a normal integration of experiences, feelings, and thoughts in everyday consciousness and memory and is related to a number of psychiatric problems).

Though low levels of celebrity worship (entertainment-social) are not associated with any of the clinical measures, medium levels of celebrity worship (intense-personal) are related to fantasy proneness (around 10% of the shared variance), while high levels of celebrity worship (borderline-pathological) share a greater association with fantasy proneness (around 14% of the shared variance) and dissociation (around 3% of the shared variance, though the effect size of this is small and most probably due to the large sample size). This finding suggests that as celebrity worship becomes more intense, and the individual perceives having a relationship with the celebrity, the more the individual is prone to fantasies.

 

Self-direction, they are not better than you

Do you really require an idol, someone to worship and praise about others? Not at all. In this day and age, it will probably cost you a heck of a lot of money as well. Because let’s face it, that is what it is all about. Maybe not for you, but it surely is for the ones who profit from it ;) . Justin Bieber, really is just an ordinary guy singing. Girls fancy him because he looks attractive and because he sings love songs which they can imagine is about them. I find it quite disturbing how some young people are already singing romantic songs on quite a young age… But it is all that is portrayed to them ofcourse. But what if Bieber was not such a pretty boy, what if he was an “ugly” boy. Would this suddenly devalue him as a human being? So we have to be careful to not become blind and superficial, treating others as “more” or “better” because they make us feel good, because they are pretty, have a nice voice etc… It does not make them better people. A starving child cannot help it is starving. It has equal worth to Justin Bieber, yet we ignore it, because it does not make us feel good. Imagine if all the money we have given to idols and their fan material, would go to projects helping the poor… Just to put things into perspective. A million posters, a collection of your star’s shirts, pens, caps etc… Is it really necessary? Do trees and resources have to be exploited for this? What about all the people who have contributed to the common good? They are worshipped far less than celebrities ever have been. There is absolutely nothing wrong with liking an actor or a singer, but the part of idolization is insanity. People get brainwashing into believing that a celebrities opinion or what they wear, is more important than their own.

We actually do not require to idolize anyone. Because in the end: we are all living beings, equal with life. If you require this to raise your self-esteem, or feel better about your life, then that shows that something within you is dragging you down. That something you allow to be part of you, is creating low self-esteem or negative emotions. By using others, you will not remove the root cause of such emotions. You will simply compare yourself to others, or use others to obsess about, without really seeing why you feel the way you do. Also your emotions will become highly dependent on what the idol does or doesn’t do.

If you idolize someone because you see things in them that you are afraid of doing yourself, then you can work on pushing yourself to stop being a prisoner to your fears. So that you learn to do what you fear. Maybe you would like to sing but don’t have a “great” voice. So what? You can still sing. I consider it a human right. If the starting point is to be idolized yourself, then you have an ego problem that has to be addressed. A desire to be worshipped, or an insecurity that you wish to cover by positive feedback and attention from others.

So the crucial part here, is getting to know yourself and why you worship. Bringing yourself and your idol with both feets on the ground.

“The masses need someone to look up to, to idolize. At least, people who lack enough confidence in themselves do. Movie stars get more fame than scientists because everyone watches movies, but not everyone follows scientific and medical journals, or for that matter would even understand them. I agree with you, though. People shouldn’t idolize others anyway. Be inspired by others, but never put them up on a pedestal. By doing that, you’re just lowering yourself. http://hubpages.com/question/53514/why-do-people-worship-moviefilm-celebrities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place  another human being as superior to myself. Idolizing him/her as if they are gods above all, that I should think about a lot, and spend money on even though they are already stinking rich

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend money on celebrities who write texts about sex and vanity, superficialness and ego, instead of using my money for the common good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let a world exists where certain people can earn millions, based on a talent, or simply because they look good. And other people are totally deprived, even starve to death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let a world exists where people with beauty or “talent” are raised up on a pedestal above others, and are portrayed as “more” than other people who do not have that beauty or talent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to contribute to a world of superficialness and ego

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think celebrities are special

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think celebrities are more special than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  feel better when a celebrities has flaws because I used them to compare myself, and base my self esteem and self worth on others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to subject myself to the opinion of others, or the opinion I think others may have about me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crave being a celebrity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crave being worshipped

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crave being more than another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how superficial and vain some of the songtexts are

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how my idol who participates in a beauty commercial, is actually supporting that brand, which tests its products on animals

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my idol has fear as well, and is concerned about not looking good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my idol has a better life than me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life would be better if I lived like my idol

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base “a good life” on being worshipped and having a lot of luxury

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how “having a good life” in our current system comes with a cost, a cost that many have to pay. Without workers, the stars would not be able to live their life style. Now they are being payed in the millions, often spend it on superficial items.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a good life for myself but ignore the suffering of so many in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that to have a good life, permanently, we will all have to work together to create a world free of abuse, and end this profit driven system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to nto see the corporations behind my idol, to not see how they often follow along, and promote certain gadgets or products in order to make money. Even if those products are bad for the environment or other living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how celebrities are used to keep the population entertained, and thus obedient and blind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my celebrity crush is just a human being like I am. Not realizing that I wouldnt have a crush on him/her if they werent so attractive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to devaluate human beings based on not having a nice exterior or good talent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place good looking people above people I dont find looking good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how superficial I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do unto another what I do not want to be done unto me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand for a change in this world, to end superficial judgement so that humanity can live as one, as the equals we are, without basing someones value on the way they look

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend much money on items of my celebrity, because it makes me feel good

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a slave to my feelings and emotions

I commit myself to stop worshipping and idolizing. I am equal to other human beings, and because one has “talent” or gives me good feelings, does not make them better than others.
I commit myself to look at what they actually stand for, if what they sing is best for all and not abusive. If they message they spead is actually a message worth spreading. And to see what they actually use their money for.
When and as I notice the emotions come up, I stop and breath and do not follow them. I am the directive principle of myself and refuse to be a slave.

I commit myself to stand for a world where all human beings are treated with dignity and worth, no matter what their physical appearance or talent is. That no one deserves to have millions just because they can sing and entertaint. I realize that someone contributing to for example: our streets, building houses etc… is equally as valuable, sometimes even more considering the common good.

I can enjoy music, movies, actors etc… but I will not go into the whole worshipping and idolizing aspect.

 
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Posted by on June 23, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Day 29 – The Audience is Making me Nervous!

Day 29 – The Audience is Making me Nervous!

This saturday we have a dance show coming up. I have been dancing since I was about 9 years old, starting with more modern dance, but also many other styles. Currently I am doing streetdance.
Every time I had to perform on stage I have been nervous. I guess it is an inbuilt flight mechanism, perceiving the situation as “dangerous”. Because omg, there is an audience, looking at us, and judging us. And we are looking straight back to them. In 2 of our dances I have to stand totally in the front ,which is extra nerve wrecking for me. Before I have to get on stage, I always have to pee even when I just went. Another flight mechanism of the body. I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t nervous at all performing. And I hear many actors and dancers, after many years or an entire career, still have the nerves rumbling around in their stomach.

What I do often is rationalize it to myself, telling myself that it is no big deal, that it does not matter if or how people judge me. But the thing is, when you have participated in a pattern for so many years, it doesn’t just “dissapear” in a second. It may take quite some time actually to diffuse it. Especially when it is rooted subconscious. Because often times I do not think about anything that could make me nervous yet I still have the feeling come up.

http://s3.photobucket.com/albums/y99/annemesis/?action=view&current=slowmedown.mp4
This video is during practice for our places etc… setting things right because there were some parts that were not coordinated yet. I’m the big one, lol.

The self forgiveness will be about what I, and others, have experienced during our lifetime regards this pattern.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care about what other people think about the way I dance.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care about how other people judge my dancing, my face or the way I move
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous about performing infront of people because I perceive it as a dangerous situation where others may laugh at me or reject me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my own self-acceptance and feelings on the way others perceive me, judge me or what they say about me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that others judgements about me do not matter, and that I am actually judging myself by thinking about how they could judge me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I need to please the audience
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from the audience
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think the audience will judge me, to see them as some kind of seperate entity, different from when I would speak to them face to face
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive a group of people as a threat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I need to dance well to please others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to dance well to be judged positivly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to derive my feelings from others judgements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel better about myself when others say good things about me, not realizing how it is actually my ego based in fear controlling me. Not realizing how limiting this is, and how I am holding myself hostage to the fake values created within my mind of what the worth of a human being, or myself, really is. Limiting a human beings worth to superficial aspects such as looks and performance. And in that way, allowing this to exist on a global scale, which clearly creates consequences world wide which are far from best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let thoughts in my mind about what the audience may think about me, control me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that the audience will reject me. Not realizing that their rejection wouldn’t matter. If they reject me then that is a pattern they have to work on. Because rejecting another based on a performance is shallow and superficial.And actually something not many people do, but is magnified by the fearfull mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow a world where children are taught to compete, be better than each other, and in that to judge and be judged as less or more.

I commit myself to stand for a world best for all, where no child gets programmed to judge themselves and others. Where no child is judged for doing things differently or not being “as good”. Where children are not programmed to desire to compete and win from another in order to feel better.
I commit myself to stop this system that programs children to be competitors and fight each other, mentally and even physically. A world that projects the reward and profit system on children as soon as they are able to learn.
I commit myself to stand for a world where we work together instead of competing, where the common good is nr 1 and not the individual minority. Where the common good is realized to be actually the COMMON good for all.

When and as I notice nervousness come up, I breath and do not follow any thoughts related to it. I simply dance.
When and as I notice thoughts come up about the audience, I stop them and direct myself. I do not allow such thoughts to control me or create worry within me.

 
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Posted by on June 22, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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