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Day 14 -I Don’t want to be Part of this System!

28 Apr
Day 14 -I Don’t want to be Part of this System!

In my life I have experienced a resistance to being part of the world as it is today, the economic system. I did not want to be part of businesses or any of that… I also never had an idea about what I would do when I would grow up. But I realized that this will in no way stop the abuse our system creates, which makes people stand negative towards it. It will not stop the millions who are deprived and don’t have a choice than to slave to survive. I have been in a lucky position to have a family that supports me, many people do not. So if I would “rebel” against this system, I would in no way be useful to change it. I would do it because I have the luxury to do so and because of how I feel towards it, neglecting all people and beings in this world who have no choice. It also won’t stop children from being programmed over and over again to become abusers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the system to change first
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the system to change and that I would not have to enter it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am separate from the system
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the system is already in all aspects of our lives, we live in it, buy in it, sell in it etc…
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect the world to change before I would have a job
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike having to work in this system
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think as a child that I already have to know what I want to do when I grew up
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel rejection towards our current system
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be pushed by my reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I cant make a change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am not good enough
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the world to change because I feel not good enough to really do anything
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the world to change because I think I will be judged bad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I will not do good at any job I do
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I will be judged at my job
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe everyone will fire me anyway
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe iw ont live up to anyones expectations
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to live up to others expectations
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself in an inferior role
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine my own failure
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my own failure
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not unconditionally let go of my thoughts of failure
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not allow myself to do my best without thinking about failure

I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am part of the system, and am already supported within it through my parents, and that if I want to change things, that I will have to create this change without trying to run away from it or avoid taking responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide from the system because of the negative emotions that I experienced within myself, such as rejection and fear.

 

Self correction:

when and as I see myself wanting to change the system before I have to go “into the system –  I stop and breathe and I see what is necessary to be done to change this system and I will direct myself towards that. I express myself, write, vlog, talk and reach people about the equal money system, and stand in the system to change it

when and as I see myself desiring for the system to change first, before I have to participate in it I stop and breathe and I do what is nessasry to be done to bring about a new world that is best for all life

When and as I see myself having thoughts about how I could and will fail, I stop them, and simply direct myself to my best ability, and when and as others don’t like it or find it good enough it is their problem. I can only do what I can, and when I make a mistake or can improve something, then I will work on doing so.
And when and as I see such thoughts coming up, or thoughts about comparison, I stop it and breath and not follow it.

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