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Day 7 – Reactions to my Shaved Head

21 Apr
Day 7 – Reactions to my Shaved Head

2 years ago, several people from our group decided to shave their hair for a campaign called “Face World Face Off”. It was a simple excercise for everyone intrested in:

“Removing the fear of and the definition of good looks, and “how one should look” in general. Keep the shaved head for quite a while to see and deal with all the reactions from the outside world. Within this one can build a stronger character as one is not dependent on “looking good” or “looking the way others expect me to look”.A peaceful gesture and an expression of standing together for a common goal – equality.

Lots of people that participated within this campaign for a year or more are now growing hair again as they’re satisfied that they’ve worked through all the points connected to one’s look through having a certain hairstyle and benefited from this bold endeavor. Others enjoy their clean shave and find it very practical. It’s up to each individual. Desteni merely provides a fresh, simple and harmless idea as head-shaving as to gain insight into oneself that most consider weird or do not dare to explore.”

When I first saw this, I was like: OMG! I felt nervous within myself because I was facing a huge fear of mine: the fear of facing others negative reactions towards the way I look. Because I was not afraid of the act of shaving in itself, but for the consequences of it. I was thinking: What will my family say? Will I be ugly? How are people going to respond to me? How can I explain this to people I know or who ask? Am I going to get even more cold? I had so many doubts and fear, that I at first could not do it.

 

Yet I was standing before an opportunity that I could prove to myself that I am stronger than my programmed fears, that I can decide what I do and not my feelings or others opinion. That I could get over my vanity and do this. I told myself that when I would find a good reason, I would do it. And that reason came… It was the final push for me to no longer have any justifications for myself. I heard that matteroftrust was collecting human hair, to create hair booms to place along the coastline to protect the animals there from the oil comming from the oilspill in the gulf of mexico. I ended up not sending my hair btw because they had no more room left… so it really didnt make a difference to that. BUT, it was a choice for me to prove to myself if I can make a decision that is for the common good. A decision where I would have to place the common good above my own self-intrest, even when I had much fear about it. And to use it to reach out to people with the message of Equality.

So I did it, and while my hair was being shaven off (by someone I knew ), the fear became less and less and I realized it is not a big deal at all. And I was proud of myself that I had been able to do something that I thought I would never dare.

Within this, I faced what I feared the most: rejection.
My grandma reacted strongly towards my shaved head, saying she was ashamed of me, disgusted, that I made her sick.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect my grandparents to react on my shaven head.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get nervous because I expect my grandparents to react on my shaven head.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my grandparents reaction towards my physical appearance – because I expect I will feel bad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my grandparents reaction towards my physical appearance – because I expect I will feel bad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad because of another’s reactions to my appearance
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because of how another looks at me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to what I think another is thinking about me based on the way they look at me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about how and what another thinks about me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my grandma for reacting to me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my grandma for the conflict I felt within myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable because grandma hardly looked at me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my thoughts about why grandma cant look at me, to influence my feelings
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my thoughts about why grandma cant look at me, to make me uncomfortable
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disappointed because I saw my grandma’s constant judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my grandma to get over her feelings
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the conflict to be removed so I can feel better
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the situation as bad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the situationa s a “big deal”
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to realize the situation wasn’t a big deal, it was simply people reacting
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the situationa s a big deal within myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create feelings of sadness and disappointed within myself because of the desire for it not to be a big deal – based on my judgement that it is a big deal
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear things becoming a big deal
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link things being “a big deal” to something negative
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel nervous for things to become a big deal
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear things becoming a big deal because it is conflict to me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of conflict
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate a situation from becoming a big deal to not face my reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and manipulate the situation to make it more comfortable
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and explain something to get my grandma to calm down
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and calm my grandma down so I can feel better in the situation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because I saw my grandma judging me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react on my own self judgement
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate myself to act as if nothing is happening, and pretending that what is happening is nothing.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to instead of facing the situation in breathe here to manipulate myself and the environment to make belief that it is nothing that is happening.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to judge what I did as “nothing”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow myself to diminish myself and what I did in oder to not create conflict
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my grandma because of her programmed reactions towards me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because of my grandma’s judgements and reactions towards me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad because of my self judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad because of my self judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad because my grandpa may feel uncomfortable
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad because the situation was so strange
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel uncomfortable around my grandparents because of the situation of me shaving my hair and that I feel they are judging me and reacting towards me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel physically uncomfortable with my grandparents and because I am judging my own physical appearance because of shaving my hair based on what I think they are thinking about it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad because the situation was so strange
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hurt because of my grandmas body movement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself through feeling hurt, because of my grandmas judgements
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for grandpa
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for grandpa because he got angry at grandma for her reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to grandpa that reacted to grandma
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards my grandma being angry at grandma because it made me worried
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reacted towards feeling that my grandfather is sad because of the conflict that I feel I have created with my grandmother
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for causing reactions in another person
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge grandma for what grandpa was reacting to
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my grandma for grandpa’s reaction
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my grandma making my grandpa angry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in sadness towards my grandma being angry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in sadness towards my grandpa being angry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my grandma to calm down because I feel bad about my grandpa reacting towards her
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to what my grandma was saying, based on what my grandpa reacted to
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in sadness to my grandpa running away
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in sadness because of my grandma’s anger
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it sweet that grandpa fears losing me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad because my grandpa fears losing me and is angry at grandma for being so mean to me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at my grandmother
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at my grandma for making my grandpa upset
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at my grandma for reacting
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my grandma to stop reacting because I feel angry and sad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge grandma for what grandpa was reacting to
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for causing reactions in another person
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for causing reactions in others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for the situation that was created
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for the conflict
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about myself and the conflict I perceived I had created
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for another person reacting
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad for grandpa because he got angry at grandma for her reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry at grandma for making my grandpa angry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry at grandma for creating the situation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame grandma for creating the situation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad for what grandpa felt
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think abiout what grandpa was thinking
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume I know what grandpa was thinking
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards what I think grandpa is thinking
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad about what I think grandpa is thinking
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create sadness within me based on my own mind believes
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect my grandpa to think a certain way based on my own assumptions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge grandma for what grandpa was reacting to
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for the situation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for making my grandpa angry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for creating the situation that made my grandpa react
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for what I thought my grandpa was thinking
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for causing reactions in another person
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame grandma for my reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame grandma for the sadness within me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame grandma for the anger within me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my grandpa dying
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my sadness because of my grandpa’s health condition
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a conflict to go away because I fear my grandpa getting sick
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear grandpa getting sick
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid a situation because it may make someone sick
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid a situation because it makes me feel bad based on my own judgements
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to avoid a situation because it makes me feel bad based on what I think others are thinking
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify manipulating a situation to go away, based on that it may make my grandpa sick
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish what I did because I judged myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because of my grandma’s reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish what I did to try and get my grandma to change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my grandma think my grandma has a clear picture of who I am
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my grandma to assume to know who I am inside
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a good person
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am a good person
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an opinion about who I am inside
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad because of my self judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for my grandma saying I make her sick
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my grandma to like who I am
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my grandma to like my personality
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my grandma to like who I am inside
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think my grandma has a clear picture of who I am
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my grandma to know who I am inside
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my grandma to accept me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect my grandma to let go of her judgements
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my grandma to let go of her judgements because I want her to accept me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire anothers approval
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base myself on anothers approval
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad because of my grandma’s judgements towards me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect my grandma to care about who I am inside
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad and hurt because my grandma said I am no good inside
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care about what another thinks about me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my grandma for my sadness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my grandma for what I experience inside myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for eactions towards grandma’s words
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hurt myself because of my self-blame
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel rejected because of my grandmothers reactions towards my shaved head.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel rejected because I expected to be accepted
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect acceptance from my family
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect my grandma to accept me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my grandma not doing what I expected of her
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my expectations control me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my expectations direct me to feel rejected
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about acceptance and rejection
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to depend on another thinking I am good inside or not to feel a certain way
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let another determin my self worth
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let another determin if I am good enough or not
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad because of my grandma’s rejection towards me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards my grandmas reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect my grandma’s acceptance
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about my grandmas acceptance
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link non acceptance to rejection
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare a situation based on rejection and acceptance
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire acceptance and thus try to remove rejection
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge rejection as something bad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge acceptance as something good
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to wether someone rejects or accepts me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad when someone rejects me, because I judge it as bad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not accept myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to judge myself for having to cry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge crying as weak
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid to be vulrenable
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link being vulrenable to crying
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see crying as vulrenability as weak
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of being hurt more when I cry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of being seen as weak
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid being seen as weak
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as weak because of crying
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link my own crying and release to another
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think another will judge me when I cry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care about anothersjudgement when I cry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not cry because I don’t want to face anothers judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not cry because I don’t want to face anothers judgement because it makes me feel bad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about anothers judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take anothers judgement personal
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and expect my grandma to deliberately want to hurt me and get me to cry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think it will satisfy my grandma to see me cry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my grandma will be satisfied when she sees me cry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my expectations
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my believes about what my grandma thinks
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my thoughts about what my grandma would think direct my behavior
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let another determin who I am
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let anothers judgement influence me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself because I expect anothers judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself because I think about anothers negative judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let memories of my grandma’s behavior determin my judgements about her
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect my grandma to laugh at me and be happy when I would show my sadness and cry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my grandma to laugh at me and be happy when I would show my sadness and cry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my expectations
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my believes about what my grandma thinks
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my thoughts about what my grandma would think direct my behavior
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let another determin who I am
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let anothers judgement influence me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself because I expect anothers judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself because I think about anothers negative judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let memories deside what I do
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let memories influence my thinking
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let memories influence my behavior
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a prisoner of my memories
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not let go of memories and unconditionally express myself in self honesty
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hurt my body because of what I react to
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  judge myself based on the feelings I have towards memories
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous because of thinking about my grandmas judgements
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for making my body tense
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get anxious because of the painful situation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define a situation as painful based on my reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to  a situation and make it painful for myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to restrict my communication because of the way my grandma reacted
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to restrict my communication with grandma because of the way I felt towards her reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my grandma for feelings restricted in my communication
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for what I felt inside myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place blame on my physical
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my grandmas judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to restrict myself because I react to my grandmas judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rrestrict myself because I feared her reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to restrict myself because I wanted to avoid conflict
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to avoid conflict to not feel bad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own feelings
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face my feelings
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear seeing my grandma’s reactions when I look at her
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my grandma for my fear towards her reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my grandma for my dislike of her reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to anticipate my grandmas reaction
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself because I anticipate my grandmas reaction
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards my grandmas reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in fear towards my grandmas reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid eye contact because of my fear
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let fear direct me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self directive
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad when I saw her reaction in her face when she looked at me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about what my grandma is thinking and that she is probably judging me when she looks at my face.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my grandmother to accept me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to desire my grandmother to accept me because I fear to loose her
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow another to determin who I am
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself based on what I think others think about me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad when another looks angry or disgusted at me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take anothers judgement personal
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to facial expressions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link an angry facial expression towards being punished
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel punished when someone looks angry at me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad when someone looks angry at me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior when someone looks angry at me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to punish myself with feeling bad when someone looks angry at me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry when someone looks angry at me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another rfor creating anger in me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame another for the way I feelI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable because of my grandma’s discomfort
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because of my grandma’s judgements and reactions towards me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad because of my self judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  base my comfort on anothers comfortability
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take over anothers emotions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards anothers facial expression by feeling comfortable or not
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my discomfort on my grandmas reactionsI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my grandma for the way I feel towards her judgements
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to determin my behavior based on anothers judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to determin my words based on how I feel towards anothers judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take anothers judgement personal
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let anothers judgement influence me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my comfort on wether another judges me good or not
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad when another judges me bad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel punished when another judges me bad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous to look at my grandmother because I don’t want to face her reactions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about what my grandma is thinking and that she is probably judging me when she looks at my face.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the judgements to go away by avoiding eye contact
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate the situation to not get judgements
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate the situation to not face judgements that I react to
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to judgements
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see anothers judgements as valid
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good about my mom defending me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want my mom to defend me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel better when my mom defends me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my feelings on wether my mom defends me or not
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel better when my mom defended me because I didn’t feel alone
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link “not being alone” to having someone defending me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of being alone
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rather not be alone to have backup support
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link support to someone defending me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want someone to defend me so I can feel better
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend my self acceptance on wether my mom is there for me or not
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mom to feel accepted
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on my mom to make me feel better
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my mom as good because she made me feel better
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel better when my mom defended me because I didn’t feel alone
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link “not being alone” to having someone defending me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself link someone defending me as good
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself require someone to make me feel good
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to feel better
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my mom to understand me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my mom based on if I think she understands me or not
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect my mom to speak about what happened at grandma, and expect her to be “on my side”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my mom to “be on my side”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself react to my moms words
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself react wether my mom said positive or negative things to me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself link words to negativity or positivity
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself link positivity and negativity to feelins good or bad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself let my judgements about words affect my feelings
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire my mom to understand me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to expect my mom to understand me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself react to my mom understanding me or not
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself react to my moms words
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself require my mom to feel understood
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself desire to be understood
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself depend my feelings on wether someone understands me or not
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when another doesn’t understand me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel I am doing something wrong when someone doesn’t understand me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to require my mom to feel good about myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel better when my mom agrees with me or supports me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dependant on my mom
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to need my moms support to “lift me up”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my feelings on anothers reaction
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to feel better
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad when someone doesn’t understand me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am doing something wrong when someone doesnt understand me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think everyone must understand me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want everyone to understand me to not have conflict
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear conflict
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own reactions towards conflict
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge conflict as bad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to avoid conflict to not feelbad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my feelings to be determined by conflict
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for creating conflict
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad when creating conflict

Self corrective statements:

When I see myself listening to other people’s opinions about me, I allow myself within the moment to breath and to not participate with in the conversations in my head about what they are saying. Within the moment of hearing others talking about me and their opinions about me, I allow myself to correct myself and to bring everything back to myself and to realize that I alone can only give opinions about myself and stop the outer influence
I stop letting my feelings be based on what others judge about me, and when they judge me or I hear judgements, I stop the thoughts in my head which leads me to “care” about their judgments.
I stop allowing my grandparents judgements to determin my own self judgement. When I see myself react to their judgements, I breath and stop following the thoughts in my head and simply reply with common sense or whatever is best in the situation.
I stop letting my feelings be determined by others reactions and feelings. When I notice that I react emotionally to people, I flagpoint the point that made me react and stop the reaction by not participating in it.
When another reacts to me, I stop allowing thoughts about rejection and realize that I can never truly be “rejected”, and that “rejection” is purely based on an idea of needing anothers acceptance and agreement with what I do
I accept myself in self honesty and true self acceptance is not fluctuating due to others rejection.
I realize that others judgement about my appearance is based on their own personal judgements and has nothing to do with me personaly- as they would do it to others as well
I stop hiding from others that judge me
I stop hiding from others that judge me based on how I feel around them. I face them if I require to or if they are around me instead of hiding, and I stop the thoughts that pop up into my mind and not follow them. Take breath and let go.
I accept myself with hair and I accept myself without hair – it does not change me
I stop judging others because of their judgements and realize that they judge because of their programming. When I notice judgements come up, I let go of the thoughts and bring things back to myself.
I reply to them with self honesty and don’t go  into reactional thoughts
I stop allowing another to hurt me based on the way they judge me, and if it hurts me, I look at why it was able to touch me so much so that I can lay out the point and stop it. To write about it if necessary, or to simply stop it in the moment if I am able to.
Another does not determin my self worth
Self worth is not dependant on an idea, self worth is a judgement
I stop thinking about if I am “worthy” or “good”
I do not allow myself to judge myself, if I see myself judging myself, I simply stop
I stop depending if I am good, based on the feelings I have
I stop judging grand^ma for the reactions grandpa has
I stop judging grandma for my granpa’s illnesses
Grandpa is responsible for his illnesses and his own reactions
I stop allowing my assumptions to control my mind and get me emotional.
I stop assuming things about peoples motives
I stop basing my self feelings about what I believe and expect other people are wanting to do – such as believing my grandma to want to make me feel sad
I stop judging my family based on their past.
I stop allowing assumptions about what someone would do when I do this or that – and base my expression on those expectations and assumptions.
I stop restricting my communication because of what I expect or assume others to say or do.
I don’t allow myself to judge myself based on how another looks at me.
My comfortability is not determined by anothers comfortability
When I feel anothers reactions because I take them in, I let it go and not let it determin me
I stop desiring my moms support
I stop desiring my mom to make me feel better
I stop depending on my mom to support me – and become self supportive
I stop allowing myself to feel good about myself when my mom thinks I am good
I stop depending my feelings on wether my mom agrees with me or not
I stop being dependant on my moms opinions
I stop being dependant on my moms believes about me or what I am doing or did
I stop allowing myself to lift myself up through my moms support
I stop desiring my mom to understand me and expect it
I take responsibility of my own emotions and feelings and reactions, without turning it to others, and direct myself in self honesty

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Posted by on April 21, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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