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Day 6 – Fear of saying No

20 Apr
Day 6 – Fear of saying No

Someone called from the consumer service or something asking if he could ask me a questionary about services and goods. I didn’t really have a chance to think about the decision, so i ended up saying: “no I rather not”. But then I regretted it because I could have given my opinion which may be entirely different than standard population which may have some impact on something. So then I got nervous…
Had I made a mistake? Shit shit.

I have often had no problems saying “no” to people, but now I did have a problem with it because it felt like I missed an opportunity, said something without properly thinking it over and realizing I could have brought in a different perspective.

This brings me to the point of saying “no”, and how hard it is for a lot of people. That is why I will write self forgiveness about this point in it’s entirety, as it applies to other’s and not just my own situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be nervous when declining and invitation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret something that I cant undo
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about a decision that I had no time to think about
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I missed something, or could have contributed to something, and feel bad about my decision based on those thoughts.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have declined an opportunity because I didn’t see in the moment that I might have been able to bring in a different perspective.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a bad person because I declined someones invitation to answer a questionary
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about making something that I perceive as a mistake.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to decide in a hurry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I have to decide in a hurry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give myself the time to think about the decision

When someone requests something to me and I go into a “rush” inside of me, I stop and breath and think about what is happening. I take the time to make the situation clear to myself, and if my participation would be something that could contribute, or would be cool to do in that moment.
I do not allow myself to feel anxious or bad about a decision, but take the opportunity to correct myself to make sure that in the future I do not make the same mistake over and over again.
I also do not allow myself to go into extremes, such as always saying yes, or always saying no. I simply assess the situation as how it presents itself, what is asked, and see if it is best or good to participate in it or not. So I do not base my decision on a fear of saying no or a fear of being bad when saying no. I base it on common sense, and on what is best for all.

When and as I notice this pattern re-occuring, I stop and breath, and take the time to write it out for myself in its entirity, to flagpoint all points that trigger these experiences within me. And dedicate myself to not allow myself to continuously go into that same pattern.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear saying no to people
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear dissapointing people
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear saying no when people ask me something, ask me a favor
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear saying no to people who ask me something, where I do not consider myself within the equation but only my fear of saying no
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for making me say “yes”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for placing me in an uncomfortable situation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to please people by saying yes
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be agreeable
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to first be agreeable, and when I get more comfortable to say “no” and thus be entirely different then first.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fluctuate according to my fears
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my fear to control my actions

I commit myself to stand stable, and take the decision that is best for all, or which I can see is best in that current situation, without blindly following my emotions, my fear. I direct myself to make a decision in self honesty.

I will not allow myself to fluctuate my opinion and stance according to having fear or not, presenting a fake persona to people in order for them to like me and approve of me.

I commit myself to stop basing my own self worth on the way others see me, which makes me take decisions that might not be best, just because I fear saying no to them.

When and as I notice I have fear comming up, I stop and breath, move through the fear and take the decision best in that moment, using my common sense and insight in the situation. If I make a mistake, I correct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where beings are afraid of each other
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where we reject each other and place our own self intrest over that of another. Where we desire others to please us and fulfill our wishes and desires.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where we treat others as objects of satisfaction, and desire them to comply by our own standards and rules, even though those standards and rules are not best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world where we do not consider each other, stand equal to each other, and do what is best for all

I commit myself to stand for a world which is best for all, a world without fear because when we stand as equals, no fear is necessary. I commit myself to stop this abusive system that creates judgements within people. To stop this world of superficial judgement and self indulgence through ego. This system does not do what is best for all,and teaches our children that it is ok to fear, to judge, to be jealous, to use others, to judge ourselves, to place profit above life, to treat other living beings as inferior etc…

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Posted by on April 20, 2012 in Mental health

 

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